Tuesday, April 19, 2005

Up In Smoke? Lions Can Take Cue From Cardinals (Vatican Variety)

The pomp and circumstance surrounding the selection and announcement of the new pope, coming right around NFL Draft time, got me to thinking -- always a dangerous proposition.

I drew a parallel because the identity of the new pope, though speculated about, wasn't official until he was announced and brought before the cheering masses in St. Peter's Square. Kind of like an NFL draft choice, not that there is any correlation in importance, of course.

Anyhow, just who the Lions will select at pick #10 this Saturday has been speculated about ad nauseum -- much more so than the next pope. Well, as you know, as the Cardinals in Rome cast their secret ballots, the signal was: black smoke -- no new pope yet; white smoke -- success. Fine -- simple and rich with tradition.

So why not different colors of smoke at Ford Field? Everyone from a quarterback to a linebacker to an offensive tackle to a wide receiver have been bantied about as being the Lions' choice at #10. This is supposedly because the team isn't nearly as talent-poor now, and can afford to take "the best player available," as opposed to drafting "for a need."

"Look, Marge -- the Lions have made their selection!"

It can be basic, really. Just gather the masses outside Ford Field downtown and set up a temporary smoke stack for all to see. Hand out programs with the following key: blue smoke (linebacker), red smoke (wide receiver), green smoke (offensive tackle), fuscia smoke (quarterback). Then team president Matt Millen can appear at a makeshift balcony and proudly make the announcement: "My brothers and sisters, after much deliberation, I am delighted to announce your newest Detroit Lion!" Then the newly-drafted player would be revealed, complete with Armani suit and Detroit Lions baseball cap.

Hey, it could be a new tradition. They could sell hot dogs and soda pop and Eminem CD's. It would be like our own Motor City version of Times Square on New Year's Eve.

And as for the team's second pick? Who cares -- the crowd will still be abuzz over the first one, if they play it my way.

It's worth a try; the Lions have been blowing smoke up our rear ends for years anyway.

1 comment:

'Thought & Humor' said...

Thought I would stop in to say, "Hi"!!!


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