Thursday, April 03, 2008

Thursday's Things

(on most Thursdays at OOB, I rant in list fashion. Last week it was Things That The Pistons Are REALLY Thinking About While They Plod Through The Rest Of The Regular Season, Unable To Change Their Playoff Positioning)

Things The Tigers Can Do To Improve Their Bullpen Until Fernando Rodney And Joel Zumaya Return

1. Let Jason Grilli wear his road uniform during home games

2. Pray for rain-shortened games

3. Score. A lot.

4. Does anyone know what John Hiller is up to nowadays?

5. Designate Justin Verlander as "all-time pitcher"

6. In the same vein, make opposing hitters call their field prior to every at-bat

7. Have Chuck Hernandez work on a new strategy, called "get them to hit it to Polanco"

8. Ask the Surgeon General for a special waiver for Jim Leyland and his Marlboros

9. Starters fined heavily if they don't make it through eight innings

10. New Comerica Park promotion: free pack of Rolaids with every ticket purchased

11. Replace ballpark's merry-go-round with community prayer circles

12. Did we mention score a lot?


No comments: