I love super balls. To this day, I can’t resist the urge to slam one down on the ground, and watch it bounce into the air as if it was shot out of a cannon. And they’re reliable. I’ve yet to bounce a dud super ball. Maybe if you left one out in the freezing cold, you might have problems. Otherwise, they’ve always got a (big) bounce in their step.
I’m not even sure if you’re supposed to capitalize “Super” when it comes to those wonderful childhood little balls. Probably not. Maybe that gives them too much respect.
But then again, we capitalize the “Super” in Super Bowl, and those games have been about as reliable as a soggy book of matches over the years.
There’s another of those football games with the funny Roman Numerals coming up this Sunday. It’s the XLIInd version. After two weeks of hype, and a day-long preview on television, the New York Giants and the New England Patriots will battle it out for NFL supremacy. The key question, as it always is, is how long folks will keep watching the game before the food spreads and beverages win over their attention.
If you’re playing the odds, the smart money says that sometime in the second quarter, the game will fade into the background while the nachos, sub sandwiches, and Norm’s homemade salsa take center stage. You might even want to put some dough on not being awake when the final gun goes off.
I’m not being cynical; I’m being factual. Of the XLI Super Bowls played to date, I figure that less than half of them have been truly “super.” Often, the only super things about them have been the margin of victory, or the absurdity of some of the action on the field.
A trip down memory lane...
I. The first game, played in Los Angeles’s Coliseum, is an object of curiosity. NBC and CBS can’t agree on who should televise the contest (NBC did the AFL games, CBS the NFL’s), so they come up with the brilliant idea of BOTH covering the game, simultaneously. It’s the only Super Bowl where the TV crew members almost outnumber the living, breathing, paying spectators.
Super? Naah. The Green Bay Packers pull away from the plucky Kansas City Chiefs in the second half, though tales of Packers receiver Max McGee, who scored two TDs, playing with a hangover become legendary.
II. The Packers again have their way, this time with the Oakland Raiders. Giant robots – one depicting each team – nearly barrel out of control before the game during a show on the field. It’s just about the most excitement all afternoon.
Super? Not even close.
III. The AFL scores its first victory – the improbable upset by the New York Jets over the mighty Baltimore Colts. It’s the Joe Namath Guarantee Game. Colts players still brood about the loss, and even a win in Super Bowl V two years later isn’t a salve for their wounds.
Super? Most definitely, if only because of the upset factor, and Namath’s growing charm and blossoming into a superstar.
IV. The Chiefs upset the Minnesota Vikings, and the AFL goes 2-2 against the NFL before the 1970 merger.
Super? Yes, because the AFL proved that the Jets weren’t a fluke.
V. Rookie kicker Jim O’Brien wins it for the Colts at the gun with a field goal, beating the Dallas Cowboys.
Super? Nope, because even though there was drama at the end, the game itself was a turnover-plagued, poorly-played affair.
VI. The Cowboys beat the Miami Dolphins, 24-3.
Super? Read that sentence again, and you tell me.
VII. The Dolphins finish their perfect season by beating the Washington Redskins, 14-7.
Super? No. The final score was not indicative of how much the Dolphins dominated the game. The only fun was watching Miami kicker Garo Yepremian try to throw a pass after a blocked FG attempt.
VIII. The Dolphins repeat, beating the Vikings in Houston.
Super? According to those who covered the game, nothing could have been super about the game being in Houston.
IX. The Pittsburgh Steelers win their first-ever championship, beating the hapless Vikings.
Super? Yes, mainly for seeing longtime Steelers owner Art Rooney, who also played and coached for the team, finally get his brass ring.
X. The Steelers win again, beating the Cowboys in Miami.
Super? I’m going to say yes, mainly because of Lynn Swann’s acrobatic performance – making two brilliant, now-famous catches.
XI. The Raiders beat the – yep, you guessed it – Vikings, 32-14.
Two things stand out in my mind: Vikes receiver Sammy White getting his helmet knocked off after a brutal hit, and Raiders veteran DB Willie Brown racing into the end zone with an interception.
Super? No way.
XII. The Cowboys handle the Broncos in the Superdome in New Orleans, 27-10.
Super? Umm...no.
XIII. The Cowboys get their comeuppance, getting beaten by the Steelers.
Super? Not really, although veteran tight end Jackie Smith’s drop in the end zone didn’t help matters for Dallas.
XIV. The Steelers cap a run in which they win four Super Bowls in six years, rallying in the fourth quarter to beat the Los Angeles Rams.
Super? Yes – this one was a keeper.
XV. The Raiders win their second championship, downing the Philadelphia Eagles in New Orleans.
Super? I’d say so, because the Raiders were quarterbacked by veteran journeyman Jim Plunkett, whose triumph was a feel-good story.
XVI. In the Silverdome, the San Francisco 49ers usher in their era of dominance by slipping past the Cincinnati Bengals.
Super? Yes. This game had a great goal line stand by San Fran, and it completed Joe Montana’s coming out party, which began a couple weeks earlier in the NFC Championship game when he hit Dwight Clark in the final minute for the winning score.
XVII. The Redskins beat the Dolphins.
Super? Yeah, because it gave us ‘Skins’ RB John Riggins and his back-breaking off tackle run for 40+ yards for a dagger of a touchdown.
XVIII. The Raiders, now in Los Angeles, top the Redskins.
Super? No. The game wasn’t close, although it was Plunkett’s second ring, at age 34.
XIX. The 49ers whip the Dolphins at Stanford University.
Super? Well, since the above sentence reads like a recap of an exhibition game, you can probably figure out the answer.
XX. The Chicago Bears destroy the New England Patriots, 46-10.
Super? Are you serious?
XXI. The New York Giants take care of the Denver Broncos.
Super? Not really. This had minor drama, but the Giants eased away in the second half.
XXII. The Redskins blitz the Denver Broncos.
The Broncos took a 10-0 lead, then watched the Skins score 35 points – in the second quarter alone.
Super? Actually, yes – because this was the first NFL championship game that featured an African-American starting QB, Washington’s Doug Williams, who became the game’s MVP. Also super because Williams was the recipient of this banal question on Media Day: “How long have you been a black quarterback?” Swear to God.
XXIII. The 49ers edge the Bengals on a last-minute TD pass from Montana to John Taylor.
Super? Absolutely. This was Montana at his best: under two minutes left, almost 90 yards to cover, field goal not good enough. Classic stuff. I watched this one with chicken pox and a 101-degree fever. Another super thing.
XXIV. The 49ers demolish the Broncos, 55-10.
Super? HA!
XXV. The Giants beat the Buffalo Bills when Buffalo’s Scott Norwood misses a XLI-yard field goal at the final gun.
Super? Gotta say yes, if only because the miss gave Norwood Bill Buckner-like status in the country’s consciousness.
XXVI. The Redskins handle the Bills.
Super? Nope – although it was the second Super Bowl played in a northern climate (Minneapolis). And the Lions actually made it to the NFC title game this year.
XXVII and XXVIII. The Cowboys handle the Bills each year.
Super? That would be a big, fat NO on both, and the Bills join the Vikings and Broncos as four-time Super losers.
XXIX. The 49ers paste the San Diego Chargers.
Super? This one was over with about halfway thru the first quarter, as 49ers QB Steve Young began raining TD passes over the Chargers’ woeful secondary. So, no.
XXX. The Cowboys beat the Steelers.
Super? Yes. This one was competitive, and it caused old-timers like me to recall the Steelers-
Cowboys Super tilts of the 1970s.
XXXI. The Packers beat the Patriots.
Super? I’d say so. This vaulted the Packers back into championship status after a nearly 30-year drought, and U-M’s Desmond Howard won the MVP award by being electric on kick returns.
XXXII. The Broncos – finally – become champs, beating the favored Packers.
Super? For sure, and we’re on a roll now. John Elway clutches his first Vince Lombardi Trophy after three failures. Good stuff.
XXXIII. Elway has the hang of this thing now – just as he’s about to retire. Broncos win again, beating the Atlanta Falcons.
Super? Naah. Now it’s old news when Elway wins!
XXXIV. The St. Louis Rams win the franchise’s first championship, nipping the Tennessee Titans.
Super? Well, not exactly a glamorous match up, city-wise, but the Rams have an explosive offense and the game comes down to the final moments, when the Titans are denied near the goal line. So, yes – barely.
XXXV. The Baltimore Ravens beat the New York Football Giants.
Super? Blecch. Great defense wins championships, but the Ravens are so offensively challenged, and play such ugly football, that it’s hard to appreciate their superior “D”. So, sorry – nope.
XXXVI. The Patriots upset the heavily-favored Rams on an Adam Vinatieri field goal at the end.
Super? Sure, why not? Despite V’s exception, game-winning FGs are always good drama.
XXXVII. The Tampa Bay Buccaneers are first-time champs, beating the Oakland Raiders.
Super? Well, there was a nifty little subplot, with Bucs coach Jon Gruden going against the Raiders, who fired him a year earlier. But the game itself isn’t all that much.
XXXVIII. The Patriots return to the mountain top, dispatching the Carolina Panthers, 32-29.
Super? Well, the numbers sure are getting longer, if nothing else. But this wasn’t much of a game, despite the close score. Thumbs down.
XXXIX. The Patriots win again – taking care of the Philadelphia Eagles by a nose.
Super? There was some drama here – with Eagles QB Donovan McNabb playing ill, and WR Terrell Owens coming back from a serious leg injury suffered late in the season, to play. Yes – barely.
XL. In Detroit, all the talk was about Steelers RB and native son Jerome Bettis, who was going to retire after the season, win or lose.
Super? Well, the officiating was bad, but Bettis DID go out a winner, and in his hometown. Thumbs up.
XLI. The Indianapolis Colts edge the Bears.
Super? Yeah – the Bears’ Devin Hester ran the opening kick back for a TD, and Peyton Manning wins his first championship, thanks to some big fourth quarter defense.
Final tally: XIX of XLI games were Super, in my book, for a percentage of just over XLVI percent. Like I said, if you play the odds, chances are you won’t be missing much if you gorge yourself and fill your belly with liquid fire.
See you Tuesday.
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