Thursday's Things

(every Thursday at OOB, I'll rant in list fashion. Last week it was "Things You Might Not Know About Detroit Sports")

Things I Wish Announcers Would Stop Saying

1. "We're just getting started..." This normally happens during SportsCenter, or any other highlight/analysis-based show. The opening topics are bantied about, and then it's time for the first commercial break. "We're just getting started here," the talking head says before tossing it to break. Sometimes I'm not sure if we should take that as a threat or a warning.

2. "I'm so-and-so, along with my tag-team partner..." Another SportsCenter sin. First of all, it's not pro wrestling. Secondly, you're not "tagging" your partner to signal him/her to speak. It's an overused, silly phrase that also happens to be physically incorrect. Maybe it's the hosts way of saying that they're about to gang up on our unsuspecting eyes and ears. OK, that's it -- every viewer should find a "tag-team partner" to counteract the anchors. I mean, fair is fair.

3. "Heartbreaking loss." Don't get me wrong. Some losses suffered by teams can, indeed, break your heart. But are some losses really heartbreaking? At the Tigers-Tampa Bay game a few weeks ago, I walked past the D-Rays' radio booth on my way out of the press box. The announcers were talking about the first game of the series, in which the Rays rallied to tie, only to lose. "So after Monday's heartbreaking loss...," I heard the Tampa announcer say. The Devil Rays are in last place. They're always in last place. They annually lose 90+ games. Can ANY loss of theirs truly by "heartbreaking"?

4. "At the end of the day..." This is the announcer's foil to the coaches version, which is "the bottom line is." The biggest offenders are the athletes/turned analysts. They'll list a bunch of things, then say, "But at the end of the day," followed by what is supposed to be a summary statement. I imagine a bunch of folks retreating to a tent or small, cozy cabin -- at the end of the day -- to compare football notes.

5. "Three-ball, corner pocket." This way of describing a three-point shot from the corner was cute the first couple times it was used. But I'd say we're about 2.4 million uses past cute at this point.

6. Anyone other than a baseball pitcher actually "pitching a shutout." I was watching football once and the announcer actually said, "So far, the _______ are pitching a shutout." I've also heard the term used in reference to hockey, when talking about a goalie. ONLY PITCHERS PITCH SHUTOUTS! There -- enough said about that.

7. "Going yard." Of all the myriad of ways to describe a guy hitting a home run, this has to be the absolute worst. First, it's turning a noun into an adverb. Second, what the hell? What "yard"? I've heard of ballPARKS, and stadiums, and fields. The only yards I know are in the front and back of my house, and the ones the Lions typically don't get enough of on third down. I can abide almost every other home run call than "Going yard." Ugh.

That's it for this week. Talk amongst yourselves, and remember -- they're just things.