The first thought I had after reports surfaced that the New England Patriots, the closest thing the NFL has had to a dynasty since the Dallas Cowboys of the 1990s, might have cheated to help themselves beat the Lions last year was, “My God, it’s Watergate all over again. The Patriots cheated to beat the Lions?”
Yes, they apparently did. Just as Richard Nixon cheated to help himself beat George McGovern in 1972. This creates two wonderfully symmetrical statements. Nixon cheating to beat McGovern is like the Patriots cheating to beat the Lions. And vice-versa. Neither was hardly necessary. But both were master-minded by overly zealous, power-abusive men whose apologies were far more prompted by their being caught than by any genuine sense of guilt.
The spymaster in the Patriots case is head coach Bill Belichick. He, according to various accusations, has placed video cameras on sidelines, in the stands, and just about anywhere else he’s pleased, in order to steal opposing signals. He also, according to reports, might have authorized well-timed “communication problems” between the sidelines and coaches booth of his opponents. One of those opponents was the Lions, last season.
“At one point, we had a good drive going against the Patriots. Mike Martz really had 'em going,” an unnamed Lion was quoted as saying in a recent Sports Illustrated article online. “They (the Patriots) were getting fouled up, lining up wrong, we were moving the ball. Then boom, the headset from the sidelines to the coaches' booth goes out.”
Boom. The Patriots got scared of the Lions, and shut off their headsets? But wait, there’s more.
In the same game, Lions coach Rod Marinelli reportedly made an in-game phone call to the press box and told his staff, “There's a camera pointed right at our defensive coach making his calls. Is that allowed?”
According to the report, a Lions employee called the league's booth and the videotaper was stopped, but not for long.
Now, a word about new NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell. OK, several words. You don’t want to mess with this guy. Goodell, in his short time as commish after replacing the retired Paul Tagliabue, makes his predecessor look like Captain Kangaroo when it comes to toughness. He hesitates not to suspend players, dole out fines, and otherwise constantly remind us that he’s in charge. He’s like a twisted version of that old Army TV commercial.
“In the commissioner’s office, we hand out more punishment before 7 a.m. than you do all day.”
So the Wrath of Roger was felt – hard – by Belichick and the rest of the Patriots organization this week. How about a $500,000 fine on the coach, plus an additional $250,000 fine on the team, plus the forfeiture of a first round draft pick next year. The $500K fine represents 12 percent of Belichick’s annual salary. It’s the first time in league history that a team has forfeited a first round draft pick as a result of punishment.
“This episode represents a calculated and deliberate attempt to avoid longstanding rules designed to encourage fair play and promote honest competition on the playing field,” the commissioner wrote in a letter to the team.
Anyone ELSE want to CHEAT?
I bet HIS headset works.
But, like President Nixon, coach Belichick hasn’t exactly bent over backwards to admit guilt. When pressed about it this week, Belichick offered this:
“It doesn't matter," he said. "It already happened. So right now, we're focusing in on what's in front of us, and that's the Chargers.”
He also used terms like “misinterpreted the rules” and “we will change our procedure on that.”
Others in the league weren’t so willing to sweep it under the rug.
“Really, a sad day for the NFL," Indianapolis Colts coach Tony Dungy said after practice Friday. “It's another case of the 99 percent good things that are happening being overshadowed by 1 percent bad. Again, people aren't talking about our product, they're talking about a negative incident.”
The Colts are one of the teams that spymaster Belichick allegedly tried to outwit.
It’s been a rough year for the spymaster.
Belichick’s marriage broke up after he was named as the other man in a New Jersey divorce. Former linebacker Ted Johnson accused Belichick of overruling the doctors and sending him back onto the field too soon after a concussion. Now Spygate.
Patriots owner Bob Kraft issued a statement Friday that, if you were to close your eyes and imagine, could be coming from a Mafia Godfather.
“I believe that Coach Belichick always tries to do what is best for the team and he is always accountable for his decisions,” Kraft said. “He has been a very important part of what our organization has accomplished over the last seven years. In this case, one of his decisions has resulted in a severe penalty for our franchise. He has paid a heavy price and so has our organization. He has apologized for his actions. I accept his apology and look forward to working with him as we move forward.”
Could that be coming from Tony Soprano describing a lieutenant’s untimely “whacking” of a rival gangster, or what?
So where does Spygate leave the NFL? The sports world is still stinging from the ribald antics of former NBA referee Tim Donaghy. Baseball is trying to get its skinny arms around the bulging arms of Barry Bonds and his all-time home run record. And the NFL itself isn’t anywhere close to being out from under the shadow of Michael Vick’s going to the dogs.
Christian Fauria is a tight end who played for the 2003 and 2004 Patriots teams that won Super Bowls. He’s with the Carolina Panthers now. And he’s already using the “a” word.
“All I know is there better not be an asterisk by any of the Super Bowls [when] I was with them," Fauria said. “I better call my wife and tell her to put [my rings] in a safe.”
Yeah – and make sure coach Belichick doesn’t get the combination. He just might try, you know.
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