“One year they said they were going to draft a quarterback,” the receiver said, now some 20 years or so after playing his last NFL game. “And me being a receiver, I thought, ‘Great – it’ll be nice to have someone who can finally get the ball to me.’”
But the look on the old-time receiver’s face told you there was going to be some sort of twisted punch line.
“So the kid comes to camp and he starts throwing the ball, and he can barely throw it 20 yards!”
The NFL Films camera catches Gern Nagler (NFL receiver, 1953-61) as he shifts in his seat, still a little incredulous lo these many years later.
“Well, it turns out that they never actually scouted him. Someone in the front office saw his photo in one of those magazines, like Street and Smith’s, and he looked really impressive, standing there with his arm cocked,” Nagler said, shaking his head. “But they never saw him play! They drafted him because he looked good in a photograph.”
I don’t know if Nagler’s story is true, apocryphal, or somewhere in between. But he put it out there for Steve Sabol and his film crew, so I’m going to presume there’s at least a hint of accuracy in there somewhere.
Today, NFL teams use more than a Street and Smith’s photo to help them determine which young hotshot college kids, like quarterbacks, to snatch up in the annual draft, which mercifully is only a week away, after nearly three months of hype and analysis.
No, things are a lot more sophisticated nowadays. There’s significant watching of film, of course (NFL coaches love film almost as much as Leonard Maltin). There’s the combine – which uses highly sophisticated equipment to see how fast the kids can run 40 yards – which is strange because I don’t recall the last time I saw an NFL player being able to run 40 feet before he encounters resistance, let alone 40 yards. And the equipment measures how high they can jump from a standstill against a wall, which I’ve also never seen come into play in an NFL game.
All this, and computer printouts and “character” interviews and background checks and tours of facilities and more film and maybe some more running and jumping, and then some more film. Did I mention that NFL coaches love film? I bet some of them lick the emulsion for a quick high, when nobody is looking.
Yes, all this, and then the player gets drafted, and if he’s a quarterback, the team might confirm that their new passer looks great, runs fast, jumps high, and has great character.
And still can’t throw the ball 20 yards.
It’s happened to our Lions, of course – and more than once. Maybe more than several times, actually. The most infamous example was Andre Ware, the gunslinger from the University of Houston. He was the 1990 first round pick, and when he was selected, the ESPN cameras were in his home, and they captured him raising his arms among the cheers and hoots and yelling, “Yes! Run-and-shoot!”
The Lions, you see, were running a similar, bastardized version of Ware’s offense in college. The kind where you send a bunch of little wide receivers out into a pattern, like jitterbugs, and start chucking. It had the catchy name of “run ‘n shoot.” And its mastermind was a Lions assistant coach named Mouse Davis.
Beware when your offense is built around names like “shoot.” And “mouse.”
Naturally, the excited Ware isn’t excited enough not to hold out for more money. He misses most of training camp, and when he finally arrives, he starts throwing the ball. And then the Lions discover, to their horror, that the kid can’t throw it 20 yards!
But he looked good in college, and in front of the ESPN cameras on draft day.
Ware and his Heisman: That and a dime will get you ...
Ahh, but it happens in reverse, too.
In 1983, the third year ESPN showed the draft, giving its viewers a ringside seat to, as anchor Chris Berman once said was akin to “reading the telephone book,” the know-it-all football guy from Sports Illustrated, Paul “Dr. Z” Zimmerman was railing against the Miami Dolphins’ #1 pick.
“I don’t know who’s going to work with him down there,” Zimmerman huffed, clearly off put by the Dolphins’ choice, a quarterback. “I don’t see where this is a good pick at all.”
I’d say the Dolphins did alright by grabbing the QB out of the University of Pittsburgh named Dan Marino. I think even Dr. Z would agree.
Today, the Lions get ready to use their sparkling new, #2 overall pick next Saturday, the spoils of finishing with the second-worst record in the NFL in 2006. The first-worst team, the Oakland Raiders, appear to be leaning toward a quarterback, a typical use for a #1 overall guy. The LSU QB JaMarcus Russell is the likely candidate, according to the scuttlebutt, which, as I said, is in its third month of scuttling and butting.
Maybe the Lions will use the pick. Maybe they’ll trade it. Maybe they’ll take a quarterback, like the matinee idol-named Brady Quinn from Notre Dame. Or maybe a running back, like Adrian Peterson from Oklahoma. Or a wide receiver – AGAIN – like Calvin Johnson from Georgia Tech. Or a behemoth offensive tackle like Joe Thomas from Wisconsin.
Presumably, all of the above can run 40 yards fast, can jump high against a wall from a standstill, and interview real well.
But can they play football?
The methods of selecting players may be more advanced than perusing the latest issue of Street and Smith’s, but the disappointment of a busted top draft pick is timeless.
I can’t wait to see Brady Quinn throw a 20-yard pass in an NFL game.
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