At Least With Isiah Thomas Running The Knicks, Life Is Never Dull

Somewhere, some place, Isiah Thomas has a plan.

I'm not sure where it is -- shoved beneath the basement stairs, lost in a shuffle of papers on his desk, stuffed in the glove compartment of his car, or maybe burned onto a CD-ROM that he's misplaced.

Wherever it is -- and I'm sure he has one, because you wouldn't have a job that pays you millions of dollars a year and NOT have one -- I'm dying for him to find it, and disclose it to the rest of us who scratch our heads, rub our eyes, and clean out our ears every time we read or hear about Thomas' latest misadventure as president and GM of the New York Knicks.

This time Thomas has managed to ply his team with two very expensive guards when everyone knows that the Knicks' problem isn't on the perimeter, but in the paint. Thomas traded Trevor Ariza and Penny Hardaway to the Orlando Magic for Steve Francis, who joins Stephon Marbury as two bitter peas in a very fragile pod.

Rumors swirled around the NBA yesterday that the Knicks were also about to acquire Kevin Garnett.

So Thomas has taken on salary and headaches as if they were necessities in the case of a nuclear attack. If they are, then he'll be the most prepared of anyone. And then maybe he'll have the last laugh, after all.

But with that highly unlikely, it's painfully obvious -- has been almost as soon as he was introduced as Knicks' GM -- that Isiah Thomas may have many different milieus, but one of them is not running a basketball team from inside an office. Coaching one on the floor? Perhaps. But if another NBA owner gives Thomas the keys to his team as an executive, then men in white suits should immediately be summoned and that person's medication should be checked for its proper dosage. Since retiring as a player, Thomas has run the CBA into the ground, botched up the Toronto Raptors, and is now making basketball people mystified as GM of the Knicks.

Francis' acquisition, like so many others
Thomas has orchestrated, makes little sense

But surely Thomas, despite his bizarre transactions, must have a plan, no? Doesn't there exist some sort of blueprint, even if that blueprint might look like a Salvador Dali lithograph? There must, even if the only person who has ever been privy to it is Isiah Thomas.

It's doubtful that coach Larry Brown has ever been shown the plan. Speaking of Brown, he must have wanted to coach the Knicks -- his self-proclaimed "dream job" -- awful badly for him to sign up knowing of Thomas' background as an NBA executive. I have a hunch that LB took the job figuring that he would outlast Isiah and thus would be able to construct the ballclub the way he desires. Of course, that whole process could take several years, and Brown is pushing his mid-60's. Maybe he's Hubie Brown without the decade off for being a TV analyst.

In introducing Francis, who is certainly no choir boy, Thomas went out of his way to affirm that Brown and he were lockstep in the desire to make the trade. Few believe that, but there you have it. The trade simply does not make sense if you look at the Knicks' roster today, unless there's something else coming before today's trading deadline. Again, must be on that plan that Isiah seems to have mislocated.

As for Thomas' future, this might be a longshot, but why not Indiana University? Coach Mike Davis has just resigned. Thomas wasn't a bad little coach, with the Pacers. IU is his alma mater. Would Isiah Thomas chuck the Knicks and take the IU coaching job? Would he even be asked? Or would he invite himself for an interview? Some feel that the only way Thomas would leave the Knicks would be if he was fired, which is certainly conceivable. Don't forget that little matter of a sexual harassment suit that is hanging over him and Madison Square Garden. But I wouldn't discard the possibility of Zeke handing in his resignation, especially if a job like coaching Indiana University awaited him. Call it "Escape From New York -- The Sequel." On IU's campus, Isiah would be a big shot again and nobody would care about that nasty NBA stuff. He could probably attract some players in the area of recruiting. He would have the challenge of returning to his school and bringing it back into National Championship contention. It would be a nice little ego stroke.

Plus, as I said, Isiah Thomas wasn't bad on the sidelines, with the Pacers in the NBA.

He's just not very good when he has the keys to the executive washroom.