It's finally here! After a morning delay, another webisode of "The Knee Jerks" is assailing your senses. For the newbies, every Thursday I chat up the MVP of the MVN, Big Al of The Wayne Fontes Experience. This is where we bitch and moan and (occasionally) praise folks in the world of sports.
This week, we talk about the Tigers' new closer; grade the team's off-season; wonder why exhibition games in the NHL affect regular season ones; handicap the Red Wings' chances of making a trade deadline move; and, as always, the lovable regulars, aka WordAss and Jerk of the Week.
OK, OK -- you've waited long enough today. On with the show!
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Eno: I'm afraid that you've come upon another webisode of "The Knee Jerks: WTF? With Eno & Al". I'm Eno, aka The Journalist, and he's Big Al, aka Mr. Big Shot. Bonjour, Al!
Big Al: Hey, we speak American in these parts, Mr. Journalist dude! Don't get all high flalutin' on me! So what's on the mind of Detroit's most prolific blogger this week?
Eno: "Most prolific", wow! Well, I'd like to chat you up about the Tigers' new closer, Brandon Lyon. I know you were among the hand-wringers who feared Fernando Rodney was gonna be "the guy." What's your knee jerk?
Big Al: First off, don't believe the Tigers' spin, saying Lyon will "compete" for the closer's gig. He IS the closer, at least to start the season. He's done it fairly effectively in the past (even if it was in the Junior Varsity league, aka the National League), and he's being paid close to $5 million for the season. I doubt the Tigers would shell out that much cash for a set-up man. I like that it's only a one year deal, as the Tigers have some solid bullpen options gaining experience in the minors. Lyons is essentially a younger Todd Jones. That's not a bad thing, as Jones was pretty damn effective as Tiger.
Eno: You basically just said what I wrote at Johnny Grubb Monday. NO competition, you're right. Fans better realize, though, that Lyon isn't a "blow them away" type of closer. So he's like Jones in that respect. But he throws strikes, and has several pitches. All that, and he's only 29. I put this in the AGREE column. [Tigers GM] Dave Dombrowski pretty much crossed everything off his off-season "to do" list, wouldn't you say?
Big Al: Pretty much, oh wise Eno-san. Improve defense on the left side of the infield? Check. Find a starting catcher? Check. Sign a closer? Check. Add depth to the rotation? Check. Overall, considering he was hamstrung by not being allowed to add to payroll, Dombrowski had a fairly successful off-season. The players he obtained (Lyons, catcher Gerald Laird, shortstop Adam Everett, starting pitcher Edwin Jackson) aren't All-Stars. But they are legit major league role players. Something the Tigers sorely lacked in 2008, when Domrowski went for the "All-Stars at every position" strategy. Sure, the players I just named have issues (especially Jackson, who thinks the strike zone is only a suggestion), but I'd have to give the Tigers a "B" for their off-season. What thinks you, Eno-sabi?
Eno: Well, I think you judge an off-season AFTER the season, don't you? After all, last year we thought DD had himself a helluva one, and look what happened! But since I have no crystal ball, I have to agree that it APPEARS that DD has acquitted himself well. He's signed thru 2011, but another debacle could have rendered that status moot as far as him staying on. Although, Mike Ilitch has shown patience with his Red Wings management staff in the past.
Big Al: Well, he did get Miguel Cabrera last year, which would make any off-season a success. But I digress... Sure, as in any trade or signing, you can't make a fair judgment till the results are in. But considering what we have to go with before the season even starts, I think we can at least say the Tigers should be a better team in 2009...if they stay healthy and the older players don't start to decline. Which are big question marks, considering some of the players the Tigers are depending upon are aging (left fielder Carlos Guillen, second baseman Placido Polanco), coming off of injury (starting pitcher Jeremy Bonderman), or both (DH Gary Sheffield).
Eno: Speaking of Polanco, what do you make of the Tigers appearing to drag their heels in extending his contract? What are they afraid of? I believe he's still only 32.
Big Al: He’s 33, actually. I'm all for re-signing the Placidome, but it has to be for a reasonable amount of money and not very long-term. Slap-hitting middle infielders who don't walk much and depend upon a high batting average to be valuable at the plate tend to decline fast as they age. I’d be cautious, as Polanco's stats took a turn for the worse in 2008. I think the Tigers are going to take a wait-and-see stance on their large domed second baseman, seeing how he plays in the first half of the season before making any determination in regard to extending Polanco's deal.
Eno: Well, he ended up over .300 after a rough start, and still is one of the toughest dudes in the game to K. I guess "wait and see" isn't a bad strategy. I just thought it was odd when it comes to Placidome, as you call him. (I know, I know – it’s because of his big noggin!). Before we move on, why must a manager be signed beyond the current season? If I hear Drew Sharp cry "lame duck" one more time I'm gonna toss me cookies!
Big Al: No kidding. Sharp's a HACK. As for the Tigers' supposed "lame duck" manager, Jim Leyland, he'll get an extension if the Tigers play well. If not, he won't. Pretty simple, actually. Leyland is an old hand, experienced in running a team and already has the respect of his team. The fact he doesn't have a contract beyond this season doesn't change a thing. Anyway, the "lame duck" crap is overrated. Didn't Walter Alston manage the Dodgers for over two decades on a series of one-year deals? He did pretty damn well as a lame duck.
Eno: Yes, I've been invoking Alston for a while now, including here. I wish someone other than me would call Leyland out on this damning point: every year he's managed the Tigers (including the pixie dust 2006 season), the Tigers have had awful – AWFUL – second halves. Of particular concern has been August. A quick lookup on Retrosheet.org will prove it to you. Leyland's teams fade in August, and it damn near killed them in 2006, too. I don't mean to nitpick the guy, but that's a huge concern for me.
Big Al: The Tigers have been an awful second half team for years, before the Marlboro Man was even in the picture. Of course, for many of those seasons the Tigers were a God awful first half team too. But it is a concern for a team supposedly built to compete for a playoff spot. I'm sure this is another reason why Dombrowski is holding off on handing Leyland a contract extension. Maybe this trend is why the Tigers have decided to vastly improve their defense. Offenses can slump, but defense rarely goes away. In the end, it's going to be all about the pitching. If the Tigers pitch well, they'll contend all year. If the staff implodes, like it did in '08, they won't. The second half record won't make a difference if they don't get bounce back seasons from their members of the starting rotation.
Eno: Moving right along....I'm lobbing the ball into your court. Which will it be: overhand slam or cross court put away?
Big Al: Neither. It's a B.C. two-hander, instead! Let's delve into the moronic mind of NHL Commissioner Gary Bettman, who saw it fit to suspend (for one regular season game) two of the league's best citizens, Red Wings Nick Lidstrom and Pavel Datsyuk, for missing the activities for the NHL's All-Star weekend. Bettman lowered the boom despite the fact they were both injured and the so-called rule saying they had to come is not in any rulebook. Wings fans, as you would think, are up in arms, calling for Bettman's head on a stick. What's your take on this brouhaha?
Eno: Idiotic. Moronic. Someone had a good point: if you're so worried about the true stars making the team, then clean up your voting procedures, so that ballot box stuffing is at least curtailed a bit. Thank God it's only a game against Columbus but that's hardly the point. But I have just one word, really: WHATEVER.
Big Al: The big issue I have is punishing the Wings in the REGULAR SEASON for something involving an EXHIBITION GAME. This is just another clueless move by a clueless league. For example, what happens if the Blue Jackets beat a short handed Wings team, and those two points end up deciding a playoff berth? The proverbial shit will hit the fan. Any All-Star game should not affect the regular season in any way. Bettman just doesn't get it. Then again, he never has. One good thing may come from this, though. The Wings may take this slight from the league, and run with it as a rallying cry. We can only hope.
Eno: I know, it makes no sense whatsoever. Speaking of the Red Wings, do you see any trade deadline moves coming up? Or is everything pretty much set?
Big Al: I doubt they do much of anything. The Red Wings are up against the cap, and have several NHL-ready players in Grand Rapids if needed. They are about as set as set can be going into the second half of the season. Of course, an injury to one of their stars could change my outlook, but as things stand now, I'm fine with the Wings keeping a pat hand. What's your take, Eno-sabi?
Eno: I tend to agree, but rarely does [GM Ken] Holland not do ANYTHING. But you're right about the cap. Any move would have to involve shipping someone out, too, So I suppose the odds are against a move. Not that they need any. I honestly don't see anything wrong with this team, do you?
Big Al: I'm a tad leery about the goaltending, but I've been a tad leery of the goaltending for years. The Red Wings need to do 3 things. Stay healthy, watch the minutes of Nick Lidstrom and determine if Ty Conklin or Chris Osgood is your playoff starter. The Wings will go into the playoffs as the Stanley Cup favorite, and rightly so.
Eno: Ah yes, the goaltending situation. It's almost like that's our "default" concern, even if it REALLY ISN'T a concern. I still think the move of the playoffs was Mike Babcock's gutsy switch from Dominik Hasek to Osgood for Game 5 against Nashville. Not too many coaches in the NHL have the brass pucks to make that move.
Big Al: Not too many coaches are as secure in their job as Mike Babcock, either. The Wings know they have one of the best, if not the best, coach in the NHL. In any playoff series the Wings play, the Wings will always have the advantage behind the bench. I'm sure he'll have a free hand in determining which goalie is between the pipes in Game One of the playoffs. If I had to venture a guess, it'll be Conklin. He's just plain outplayed Ozzie this season. But having a multi-Stanley Cup-winning goalie in your hip pocket as a fall back option isn't too shabby. Honestly, as long as the blue liners play up to their capabilities, the Wings could put YOU in goal, and they'd still be favored to win.
Eno: Hey, I could stone some of the best street hockey guys in my day! Well, NOT starting with Osgood worked last year; why not try it again? Hey....Al....do you hear that? Do my ears deceive me?
Big Al: Yes, they do deceive..wait, I hear it too! It's...it's....it's WORDASS!
WORD ASSOCIATION
Big Al: Fire away, when ready, Eno-sabi.
Eno: Indeed! OK, how about Allen Iverson?
Big Al: A.I.? No longer the Answer, now a Question Mark. Keep ‘em coming; let 'er rip, Eno-sabi.
Eno: Next up: A.I.'s beleaguered coach, Michael Curry (another big noggin guy)
Big Al: I have to agree with the Chris McCosky article in the Detroit News. Over coaching! Curry has an experienced team, let 'em play. And no more of the small ball. NO MORE!
Eno: The Lions' new o-coordinator, Scott Linehan.
Big Al: The anti-Jim Colletto. Linehan has been successful as an OC in the past, unlike any of the coordinators Rod Marinelli had working under him this past season.
Eno: OK, one more: Joe Torre's book
Big Al: Tempest in a teapot. Pure sensationalism. The only rubberneckers who care about the BS in the Yankees' locker room are NY fans and the MSM. Ready for a few, Eno-sabi?
Eno: Hit me, I'm open!
Big Al: You are always open when you run the post pattern...Oh, you're ready for more WORDASS? OK, let's go with the Lions' attempt at spin, Monday's "Town Hall Meeting."
Eno: I never, NEVER, want to see any NFL team and "Town Hall Meeting" in the same sentence. And from what I know, the results were largely useless. Do the Patriots and Colts and Steelers hold such meetings? NO!!
Big Al: Good call, oh wise Eno-san. The only "news" from the Lions' attempt at spin is the likelihood we've seen the last of Bubbles the Lion on the side of Detroit's helmets after this coming season. Big whoop. Next, give me your best WORDASS in regard to the Super Bowl!
Eno: In honor of former MLB pitcher Joaquin Andujar, one word: Youneverknow.
Big Al: The Cards have nothing to lose, and big underdogs have done well in the past. Hell, as you just said, youneverknow... Let's go back to the NBA, and the Pistons' mercurial center who’s having the worst season of his career at age 34, Rasheed Wallace.
Eno: Let me now honor Dandy Don Meredith: "Turn out the lights, the parrrty's ohhhverrr...."
Big Al: If there was any question the Pistons would try to bring back ‘Sheed, they have been answered. He is aging badly right before our eyes. Thanks for the memories ‘Sheed, but it's time to go. Last one, Eno-sabi. Back to football, the Cardinals' wunderkind head coach, and miracle worker, Ken Whisenhunt.
Eno: Amazing what you can do when you learn in a football factory like Pittsburgh, eh?
Big Al: We can only hope the Lions, and The Schwartz, come close to the success the first time head coaches in Arizona and Pittsburgh have had. Yeah, right... Before we name our Jerks of the Week, anything else on your mind, Mr. Journalist?
Eno: Well, I'm a little saddened by the news that The Mayor, Sean Casey, won't be seeking another term. A great guy in a sport that needs as many as it can get. I wish him well.
Big Al: I think The Mayor also realized there's not much of a MLB market for aging first basemen with no power. But he had a fairly good MLB career for someone with limited talent. Casey was a credit to the Tigers while he was here, and one of the few to actually play well in the '06 World Series. Adios, Mayor!
JERK OF THE WEEK
Big Al: So who's your Jerk of the Week, Eno?
Eno: Well, this one is kinda rough, maybe – perhaps I'm being too mean – but I'd like to nominate Kenny Rogers, for STILL not officially notifying the Tigers of his intentions: retire, or keep playing? I think players who do that are, frankly, rude. The Tigers have been very good to him. It's time for him to reciprocate and let them know WTF he plans on doing.
Big Al: I agree The Gambler owes the Tigers an explanation of some sort, at the very least. Thankfully, Detroit has moved on, but Rogers will be always be remembered fondly in the D for his heroics in 2006. My Jerks are the thugs masquerading as MSU hockey players, Andrew Conboy and Corey Tropp, who assaulted the Wolverines' Steve Kampfer. I've never seen a player swing his stick at the head of a defenseless player laid out on the ice before. It was a disgusting display, and MSU did the right thing by kicking them off the team.
Eno: What the Hell happened to MSU hockey, btw? How did they fall so hard so fast? I admit I don't follow college hockey all that closely, but geez – did they sink overnight or something?
Big Al: The actions of Saturday night were the capper for what's been the worst season in memory for MSU hockey. Spartans' head hockey coach Rick Comley’s job has to be in peril. Where have you gone, Ron Mason?!
Eno: Kicked upstairs and on his way to Retirement Land. OK, my friend, it was fun as usual. What's your Super pick this Sunday? Tell me no lies, now.
Big Al: Why not ride the hot hand? Cardinals win in a squeaker. Let's say, 24-21. Who's your pick?
Eno: Hmmmm...I just CAN'T bring myself to pick the Cards; I don't know why. Steelers win Super Bowl number six for them... 17-13.
Big Al: Well, I think that wraps up another session of the Knee Jerks. Will I see you next week, Eno-sabi?
Eno: God, and technology, willing! Tootles!
Big Al: Tootles? Same Jerk time, same Jerk...you get my drift... Seriously, tootles?
Eno: Don't worry; I won't be wearing any pink shirts soon. I'll see ya!
Big Al: Later, oh wise one! Tootles?
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