Packers Fans Needn't Have Worried; Their Opponents Can't Close The Deal

Being an NFL fan on Sundays can be, to quote Jerry Maguire, a "pride-swallowing siege". You can ride the proverbial emotional roller coaster, boy, and there are moments when you see your life flashing before your eyes.

But because I have empathy for that fan, I wish I could reach out to them on the Sundays that their team is engaged in football play against the Detroit Lions. I wish I could rock them in my arms, gently, and whisper in their ear, "It'll be OK, my friend. Shhh.....it'll be OK. You're playing the Lions."

I wish I could do that when their team is in the midst of a late-game, furious drive for the winning score. I wish I could do that when their team happens to fall behind the Lions big, early. And I wish I could do that when the Lions themselves are marching down the field in a bid to tie or win a game.

"It'll be OK. Shhhh....it'll be OK."

I had the same desire yesterday, the Lions having swung that age-old thing called momentum supposedly in their favor, courtesy of a 25-3 run that edged them in front of the Green Bay Packers, 25-24 with about nine minutes to play in the fourth quarter. I'm sure there were edgy Packers fans watching at home, gnawing at their knuckles and nibbling at their fingernails. A 21-0 lead had gone poof, and a once-mute Lions crowd -- too bothered to even boo the home team earlier in the game -- was rocking Ford Field. I'm sure horror stories flashed in the Packers fan brain: what if we blow this game to the ... Detroit Lions?

And I wasn't there to say, softly, "It'll be OK. Shhhh....it'll be OK."

A few minutes later, of course, it was OK -- for the Packers and their fans. And this turnaround was quick and stunning, even by Lions standards.

The Pack scored 24 points in the amount of time it normally takes to run up to the store for a loaf of bread, and Green Bay had itself a 48-25 win, turning that nailbiter into a laugher, lickety split.

See, Packers fans? Now don't you feel silly for doing all that worrying?

Of course, maybe this postulation doesn't really apply to Packers fans, because they see the Lions twice a year and therefore are more closely in tune with how wretched this team is, and how they couldn't close the deal even if a customer ran up to them with his wallet dangling from his mouth. The Lions talked after yesterday's game about not being able to "put the nail in the coffin", but the Packers weren't even in the vicinity of any coffin, not being down by one measly point and nearly two-thirds of the fourth quarter yet to play. The Lions can't even get their metaphors right.

You just knew that both the Packers offense, and the Lions defense for that matter, had another big Green Bay play left in the holster, despite the supposed momentum turn. Sure enough, with the Packers pinned inside their 20-yard line on the possession after the Lions took their precarious lead, Aaron (Matt Ryan) Rodgers hit Greg Jennings for a 62-yard catch-and-run (against a pass defense that dabbles in catch-and-release), and the Packers were back in business, and the muzzles were back on the Lions crowd. More on the crowd momentarily.

And you know what followed: a Packers FG. A Jon Kitna pick. A Packers TD. A Kitna pick, returned for a Packers TD. Another Kitna pick, returned for a Packers TD. It was suddenly like watching the Packers and Lions play in a video game -- one team controlled by a 14-year-old boy (Packers) and the other by his mother (Lions).

"HA HA Mom! Another pick six! Whoo Hoo!"

"I tell you, son, I'll never get the hang of these video games," Mom would say. "Well, I gotta go make dinner."

Now, back to that Lions crowd. I don't know if the Fox microphones weren't potted up all the way or what, but the crowd seemed flat, even before the now-requisite 0-21 hole the Lions built for themselves. They rocked during that fourth quarter, Calvin Johnson-led rally, but what NFL crowd wouldn't? They didn't even have the heart to boo all that much, like I said -- and that, to me, is more telling than anything. It's one thing to not be all that loud, but it's quite another to see your team have diarrhea all over the field and not have the passion to let the boys in Honolulu Blue have it. The fans seem resigned, already, to another 2-14, 3-13 horror.

Even the national TV dudes are finding the Lions' situation hopeless and, worse, boring.

"Detroit's a mess. I'm tired of wondering if they're going to get any better," new analyst Michael Strahan was quoted as saying during the pregame show.

If this garbage continues much longer -- like to the tune of 0-6, 2-9, something like that, it may be time to fire the coach. I've resigned myself to believe that GM Matt Millen has nearly the same job security as Bill Ford Sr. himself, so I'm not even going to go there. All that's left, then, is to fire the coach -- AGAIN. Start over. AGAIN. Watch Millen pick the wrong guy. AGAIN.

If there indeed is a coaching change in Detroit (AGAIN), then I hope the next guy has an actual head coaching resume. It's time to pay someone some serious bucks -- AFTER some due diligence, which wasn't done with Steve Mariucci -- and it must be someone who's been an NFL head coach and has won. We thought Mooch was that guy, but his personnel was ill-suited for his offense, which if this was fashion, would have been bell bottoms in the 1980s anyway. Who runs the West Coast offense with any success anymore, in the NFL? Or, who tries to run it with personnel that is the square peg for your round hole?

But I digress. Rod Marinelli isn't on the hot seat yet, but it's getting warm. All we heard about this year was how the coach is weeding out the players who don't buy in, and how this team, in his third year, is FINALLY made up of "his guys." Fine. And, in two straight weeks, "his guys" have failed to show up until the other dudes race out to a 21-0 lead. It's, frankly, unacceptable.

But what's unacceptable to the rest of the NFL isn't necessarily what's unacceptable in Detroit -- clearly.

So to those 49ers fans next week who may find themselves balled up in the fetal position sometime during their team's game with the Lions: "It'll be OK. I promise."