Game 6 Is Really A Matter Of K.I.S.S.

Here's something you'll be force-fed ad nauseam between whenever you're reading this and tonight's Game 6 of the NHL's Western Conference Finals. And if you're reading this AFTER the game, how was that Pepto-Bismol, anyway?

Ready? Here comes.

The team that has scored first has won every game of this series so far.

A compelling stat, no? Something tangible for the microphone types to blather about throughout the game, right? Only one problem. It's not true.

Oh, officially it's true. But as far as I'm concerned, the Red Wings scored first in Game 4. The refs, sadly, didn't see it the same way. Too much junk in Tomas Holmstrom's trunk for their liking.

But enough about that.

Chris Osgood, bless his heart, tried this misguided logic after the Wings lost Game 5. It shows that it's all a matter of timing.

"If you would have told us that we'd be in the conference finals going to Dallas up 3-2, we would've taken that," the goalie said -- trying to prove how wise he's gotten from his 15+ years in the league. But not so wise for this old curmudgeon, who pointed out to myself that had you presented Osgood with that scenario after Game 3, it wouldn't have sounded so alluring.

"So, Chris -- your team has just won the first three games of this series. How would you like to come back to Dallas up 3-2?"

I doubt he'd have said, "We'll take it."

See? Timing.

Enough about that as well.

I'm old enough to know that tonight's Game 6 isn't about spilled milk in Game 4 or Osgood's Beltway-like spin doctoring or bemoaning Johan Franzen's now notorious "concussion-like symptoms." It's not about being a-scared of Marty Turco or fretting over the ice conditions in Dallas.

Time to quote that legendary sage and soothsayer. You know, the Pistons' Rasheed Wallace.

"Just playin'."

That's what Sheed likes to say after big Pistons victories -- especially the ones on the road.

Just playin'.

It's not bad advice, really -- especially for a team that might be teetering a bit. MIGHT be.

Just go out there and play Red Wings hockey. Coach Mike Babcock, spoiling the media's fun by actually speaking words that are soaked in logic and common sense -- how DARE he, anyway? -- said as much yesterday, quoted in today's Free Press.

"Guys, we directed 58 shots at the net yesterday," Babcock said. "They directed 28. Let's not make things bigger than they are or smaller than they are. We had clear-cut opportunities that didn't hit the net. That's being too fine. Pound it off the goalie and shoot the rebound in the net."

The man clearly has no future as a TV analyst. Or a sports talk radio blabbermouth. Or a bottom-feeding blogger.

Babcock's assessment was the Canadian's version of Rasheed Wallace's "just playin'." To do otherwise would be to, as Babcock said, "make things bigger than they are or smaller than they are." In other words, be like Goldilocks. Don't make things bigger. Don't make things smaller. Ahh -- make them just right.

Oh -- and score first. Just to be safe. Not that I believe in that stuff or anything.