Thursday, June 12, 2008

Thursday's Things

(on most Thursdays at OOB, I rant in list fashion)

Other Things Disgraced NBA Referee Tim Donaghy Claims Happened During His Tenure

1. Rims mechanically expanded by remote control whenever Michael Jordan shot the ball

2. Refs promised free large order of fries from McDonald's whenever total fouls called in a game reached 60 or higher

3. Annual pig roasts at home of Lakers owner Jerry Buss filled with loose women, liquor, and promises of promotion to calling NBA Finals games in which Lakers participate

4. Golden State's name picked out of hat prior to 2007 playoffs to be Cinderella team that an entire nation -- and officiating crews -- would rally around

5. Highly detailed and convoluted plan to orchestrate a stunning Clippers-Hawks NBA Finals matchup in 2003 collapsed late in negotiations

6. Commissioner David Stern founder of cult NBA religion known as Jordanism

7. One of three refs on crew during Pistons games assigned personally to Rasheed Wallace

8. High-tech whistles able to be remotely disabled whenever second string players drive lane against league stars

9. Officials routinely slip scoreboard operator "a twenty" in exchange for "an extra point tacked on here and there" for Lakers during intense playoff games

10. Officials attended Tarot card readings to help them determine winners of mundane regular season games -- like a Clippers-Hawks matchup -- that weren't worthy of full-blown manipulation based on significance of standings

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