Congrats, Arena League! I Don't Know How You Do It

I'll come clean, right off the bat, so that you know where I'm coming from.

I'm not sure if I should be filed under "F" or "O" for being an Old Fogie. It's a label that I find it difficult to argue against.

Yet another example reared its head this morning.

The AFL is 21 years old. And this O.F., whenever he reads "AFL", thinks immediately to the American Football League of 1960-1969.

But no -- it's the Arena Football League.

William Bendetson of ESPN.com writes about the league's triumphs and challenges, and two more things entered my mind, after I got my arms around the whole what the AFL really stands for thing.

#1 -- has it been 21 years?
#2 -- 21 years of what?

Actually, a third thing: is the AFL football at all, really? More about that later.

So by now you understand that if it's "fair and balanced" you're looking for in reference to treatment of the Arena League (I'm sorry, but the football historian in me just can't bring myself to call it the AFL without fearing that I'm trampling over the gridiron graves of Jack Kemp, John Hadl, and Cookie Gilchrist), then look elsewhere. I'm not going to bury the Arena dudes, I'm just sort of scratching my head here.

First, something in my defense. I'm a Detroiter, and in the early days of Arena ball, the Detroit Drive was dominant. They won something like four or five championships in a row. (The fact that I don't know how many it was for certain is another tip-off). So I'm not coming at this from a never-had-Arena ball-in my life perspective.

I just don't get what the Arena League is trying to do, but yet they've done it since 1987. They're not really a feeder system to the NFL. Very few NFLers have come from Arena ball. They're an indoor, summer thing -- and I never thought those two things went well together.

It must be the high scoring games. Many Arena games' finals look like high school basketball scores. It certainly can't be the ease of rules. To me, knowing what is and isn't allowed in an Arena match is like trying to figure out what is and isn't kosher to say to an old friend you've run into who's put on 150 pounds.

"Heyyy there...you have more chins than a Beijing telephone book." (wrong)

"I see you're enjoying God's bounty!" (better, but still not great)

"I'm sorry, I don't remember you" (when in doubt, DENY)

I do kind of like the super narrow space between the uprights. And the fact that you kick off with your back touching your own goal line.

But is it football, really?

The elements of football are there. And I'm defining elements here as: a football; and pads. But are there actual plays? An NFL quarterback wears a wristband with hundreds of plays on it in agate type. An Arena QB's menu, it seems to me, could be written ON his wrist.

Actually, I think there are four plays in Arena Ball:

1. "Go long"
2. "Go short"
3. "Go medium"
4. "Handoff to YOU"

And how do you know when a team is doing a Hail Mary? The field is only as long as a legal pad.

Can you imagine if Cal tried to replicate its miracle play against Stanford on an Arena field? They would have needed about six fewer laterals and one less band. In fact, they may not have needed any trickery at all. How long does it take to traverse a legal pad, anyway?

But seriously, folks. The Arena League has been around for 21 campaigns. They must be doing something right. They've made most people forget the REAL AFL, for starters.