Why Stop With Rod Marinelli Field?

So Rod Marinelli has a football stadium named after him. That's nice; good for him.

Sadly for you readers, that got my creative juices flowing. Yes sir, my brain was like a basted turkey on Thanksgiving Day. Or something like that.

I got to thinking: if Marinelli should have a football stadium in his name, because of his dedication to the sport and because he's probably Rosemead (CA) High School's most famous alumnus -- at least when it comes to sports -- then what would Lions coaches of the past have their names lended to?

Cue the flowing juices.

The Harry Gilmer Sno-Cone Maker. Gilmer (1965-66) was pummeled by fans with snowballs after what would be his last game as coach, in December 1966 at Tiger Stadium. The Maker named after him comes without cones, as a tribute.

Joe Schmidt Field (in Minnesota). Yes, Minnesotans decide to give Schmidt, Marinelli-like treatment as they name a sandlot field near the Metrodome in his honor. Why? The Vikings went 11-1 against Schmidt's Lions from 1967-72.

Mr. Forzano Head. This twist on the popular children's plastic potato toy offers kids (and adults alike) the opportunity to insert different eyes, noses, ears, and mouths into Rick Forzano's (1974-76) "head" -- making him look anyway they'd like. The theory? Hardly anyone remembers what he looks like, anyway -- so why not create your own image? Deluxe set includes Mr. Hudspeth Head, for equally-as-nondescript Tommy Hudspeth (1976-77).

Monte Clark Memorial Gardens. This quaint cemetery in southern California honors Monte Clark (1978-84) who once said to reporters, "See you at the cemetery" after a loss dropped his Lions to 1-4 in 1983 in Anaheim.

Darryl Rogers Park. Little-known municipal park in metro Detroit, where you can feed the pigeons. (Readers of "OOB" and devout Lions fans know the meaning behind this one).

The Wayne Fontes "What? Me Fired?" Game. In cooperation with MAD Magazine's Alfred E. "What? Me Worry?" Newman, this board game has competitors trying to avoid landing on the "FIRED" space. The title comes from Fontes's bizarre intrusion into Bill Ford Sr.'s press conference announcing Fontes's firing, when the deposed coach said, "Fired? What do you mean I'm fired?"

"Coaching Football For Dummies," by Bobby Ross. Actually, Ross ghost-wrote this book, in which the coach only teaches "good" things, and not turnovers, penalties, and botched plays. Born from Ross's tirade when he famously yelled, "I'm a good coach! I don't coach that stuff!", following another mistake-filled Lions loss.

The Marty Mornhinweg Muscle Machine. This sleek, powerful motorcycle bears MM's name, thanks to his famous "ride-off" on a motorcycle during his first Lions training camp, supposedly out of disgust.

Steve Mariucci Coastway. A bumpy, 100-yard long stretch of California coastline, named affectionately for Mooch and his beloved West Coast Offense. Visitors are forbidden from walking more than seven yards at a time, however.

BONUS: Let me know what should be named after president Matt Millen.