Limo Rides To The Grocery Store? You Poor Thing, Kellie Droughns!

I have never taken a limousine to the grocery store, but I can imagine it would be quite a kick. In fact, I've never really been chauffered around anywhere since I was an adolescent, except after our wedding, and that was just from the church to the reception hall.

So I can't imagine what it must be like for the Droughns family.

Reuben Droughns, former Lions draft choice and current Cleveland Browns running back, was recently acquitted of DUI charges. And apparently it made life a living hell for wife Kellie, too.

"It's been hard on us, hard on Reuben. We're taking a limo everywhere, even to the grocery store," Kellie Droughns was quoted in this morning's Detroit Free Press.

Yeah, that had to be rough, Kellie -- being chauffered everywhere. And why do I think the limo rides weren't limited to trips to the A&P? I'm sure there were dinners. And manicures. And more shopping.

So maybe Kellie Droughns' comments were taken out of context when I read them in this morning's Freep, though I don't know how. Maybe she was chuckling when she said it. You can't read emotions in a newspaper, and the ink-stained wretches conveniently leave them out most of the time.

But that benefit of the doubt can be given to an Andy Van Slyke, who's famous for joshing with the press. It can be given to Jay Johnstone, or Bob Uecker, or Charles Barkley -- athletes who had far more fun talking to the media than the rest of their brethren.

Take Van Slyke's comment when asked if Tigers manager Jim Leyland's outburst on April 17 was the worst he's seen the skipper behave. Van Slyke played several seasons for Leyland in Pittsburgh, so he was a logical person to ask.

"No," AVS said. "This time he had all his clothes on."

But when we read that, we know it was said with a wink and a twinkle in the eye. We know Van Slyke knocked another fat media pitch out of the park.

I'm not so sure with someone like Kellie Droughns, who's certainly not the problem, but she represents the out-of-touch athlete who has no clue what others in similar, or worse, situations have to contend with. How many folks do you know who've had DUI issues that get to be driven around in a limousine?

But now husband Reuben has been acquitted by a jury -- peers who don't get limo rides on a daily basis, by the way -- so I suppose he can get behind the wheel again and put an end to all those miserable rides he and Kellie have to endure. And by the way, what was keeping Kellie Droughns herself from strapping herself into the driver's seat and putting the pedal to the metal? Why couldn't she have been the family chauffeur for the time being?

I guess she hadn't thought of that.