I can't say I disagree with that assessment. The Tigers' batting order has been mostly a doughnut when it comes to that stud base-clearing guy -- empty in the middle. Maybe Ordonez, now healthy by all accounts, can be the Tigers' jelly.
But, as is my curse, that post got me to thinking about the past. I'm telling you, being an idiot savant when it comes to sports is a constant internal battle within my brain.
Your friendly neighborhood sports "Rainman" -- that would be me -- recalled the 1991 Tigers lineup. It was 180 degrees away from today's batting order. For the '91 Tigers were full of cleanup hitters.
The lineup that season began innocently enough, with Tony Phillips leading off. You remember little switch-hitting Tony, don't you? I can still see him pumping his bat up and down in that crouch. Tony was the last truly angry Tiger we've seen. If he was an NBA player, Tony Phillips would have been among the league leaders in technical fouls. He was one of the most combustible players I've ever seen.
But after Phillips, the Tigers' lineup was like it had been selected by a 13 year-old kid who had an affinity for Strat-O-Matic baseball and wanted to see power hitters constantly stride to the plate:
(in no particular order)
Lou Whitaker
Mickey Tettleton
Cecil Fielder
Rob Deer
Pete Incaviglia
Travis Fryman
That's not a batting lineup -- that's a group of Fred Flintstone's co-workers at the rock quarry.
"Big Daddy" led a lineup full of sluggers
The '91 Tigers managed to finish 84-78, though, utilizing baseball's version of ham-handedness. They pounded their opponents into submission. They were good at winning 12-3, but also had a fetish of losing 3-2. The above guys struck out so much, they kept the centerfield flag at Tiger Stadium continuously flowing with their whiffing. But they were fun to watch. And not as predictable as you would think. A story about Deer illustrates my point.
I took my then-girlfriend-now-wife Sharon to a game against the Mariners on a cold May evening. The Tigers were down by a run in the bottom of the ninth. There were two outs, and Rob Deer came to the plate. He fell down in the count, 0-2. So Sharon and I started to pack up our blanket and look for a restroom to release the gallon of hot chocolate we each consumed, because this would be Rob Deer's stats for 1991:
AB HR BA K
448 25 .179 175
I don't want to sound disloyal and not believing in my Tiger players at the plate, but whenever you are a full-time player and your strikeouts almost match your batting average, it ain't pretty.
So we started to leave, with Rob Deer down 0-2 and two outs.
But lo and behold, Deer reached down at a low and outside pitch and drove it over the left field wall. Tie game. Extra innings. Fanny back in seat. Hot chocolate refills for everyone!
The Tigers won in extra innings.
1991 was also the last season in which a Tigers pitcher won 20 games. Bill Gullickson did it -- going 20-9 with a 3.90 ERA. And Gully did it while giving up nearly 11 hits per nine innings. But he only walked 1.3 per nine, so there you have it.
The Tigers' bashing lineup in '91 made for some long games, and produced some tape-measure homeruns. They hit 209 dingers for the season -- 1st in the American League -- and scored 817 runs, which was second in the AL. Of course, they also gave up 794 runs, which placed them 12th out of 14 AL clubs. Hence the slightly-over-.500 record.
The Tigers have had some smashers in their lineups in the past, but rarely were they all congregated on one roster, as they were in 1991. They were the slo-pitch softball team of Major League Baseball.
And they were winners, which you can't say about all but one team in the 14-season Mike Ilitch era.
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