Thursday's Things

(every Thursday at OOB I rant in list fashion. Last week it was Things The Chicago Bulls Can Do To Improve Besides Firing Scott Skiles)

Things Mike Martz Can Do If He Doesn't Get Another Coaching Job

1. Work for the Wayne County Road Commission -- helping them build more passing lanes

2. Scout the Arena League for the next Kurt Warner

3. Become a spokesperson for Immodium: "No runs!"

4. Apply for early entry into the Pro Football Hall of Fame; isn't that where geniuses belong?

5. Sue the Lions' offensive line for non-support

6. Auction running plays from his playbook on eBay ("Rare!")

7. Put more of his effort into running for president, under his alter ego of Christopher Dodd


8. Put the brakes on the planned buzzword nickname next year, combining Martz with QB Jon Kitna: "K-Martz"

9. I hear there are a few countries around the globe looking for dictators ...

10. Buy the rights to the game show "1 vs. 100" and create a new reality show detailing Kitna's efforts behind his porous o-line; or, detail Martz's steadfastness against the entire Lions organization

11. Become a financial adviser: "Umm, please don't buy stock in M&M's -- at least not if you live in Detroit"