The out-of-place athlete, is what I'm talking about.
Bobby Orr in a Chicago Blackhawks uniform. Tony Dorsett as a Bronco. Emmitt Smith as a Cardinal. Wade Boggs as a Tampa Bay Devil Ray. Even Raymond Bourque as a Colorado Avalanche -- made even more auspicious by him hoisting the Stanley Cup in those threads after two decades as a Boston Bruin.
But here's maybe the most square peg in a round hole when it comes to this stuff: Johnny Unitas wearing the powder blue and gold of the San Diego Chargers.
It happened in 1973. Johnny U, he of the black high-top shoes and conservative, meat-and-potatoes uniform of the Baltimore Colts for so many years, was cut loose by the Colts following the '72 season. A young man named Marty Domres was going to be his replacement.
But Unitas wasn't done playing ball -- at least not in his mind. And the Chargers, stuck in a valley of losing, were gathering fading former stars to help them teach the youngsters what being an NFL player was all about.
Deacon Jones, John Mackey, Lionel Aldridge, and others found themselves wearing lightining bolts on their hemets in this time frame. And now here came Unitas, fresh off 17 seasons in Baltimore -- a 40-year-old quarterback that would play behind a porous offensive line. Usually not a good combination.
It wasn't.
Unitas under pressure (as usual) as a Charger in Pittsburgh
I remember seeing some old NFL Films footage of Unitas on Opening Day, getting pummeled by the Washington Redskins. Because not only was Johnny's o-line betraying, but Unitas himself was horribly immobile. On one particular play, the protection broke down and Unitas, almost pathetically, seemed to not be able to control his feet. He stumbled over himself, and he wasn't so much sacked as he was touched after collapsing to the turf. It reminded me of Willie Mays playing centerfield in the 1973 World Series as a 42-year-old, with as much dexterity as someone playing the position on a waterbed.
It wasn't long before Unitas was benched. He threw 76 passes as a Charger, completing less than half, and seven of those were intercepted. Another young quarterback would claim the starting role, just as Domres had in Baltimore. In San Diego, the young arm belonged to someone named Dan Fouts.
Unitas, incredibly, came back in 1974, albeit briefly. He worked out with the Chargers for a few days, then mercifully decided he was done. No more would we be subjected to the sight of one of the all-time greats playing poorly in an ill-fitting uniform.
Johnny Unitas as a San Diego Charger. One of the most surreal times in sports, if you ask me.
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