I know, that comes from the category of "tell me something I don't know."
This Sunday, the Lions travel to Arizona to play the Cardinals. And you can make the case -- a quite good one, actually -- that the Cardinals have been an even more abominable NFL failure than the Lions, throughout history.
For starters, the Cards have been losers in four cities, and under four names: Chicago, St. Louis, Phoenix, and Arizona (the Cards today play in Glendale). They were among the league's dregs in the '50s in the Windy City, in the '60s in St. Louis, and in the '90s and '00s in the desert. Only in the '70s and some of the '80s were the Cardinals legitimately competitive, playing in Busch Stadium and occasionally holding their own in the tough NFC East. They made the playoffs a few times.
But the Cardinals have never played in a league championship game, and have never come remotely close to the Super Bowl. At least the 1991 Lions made it to the NFC title game, and the '83 bunch was a crooked Eddie Murray field goal try away from doing it that year, too. And lest us not forget the 1970 Lions, losers of a heartbreaking 5-0 playoff game against Dallas. One measly touchdown, or two field goals, and those Lions would have been in the NFL's Final Four, too.
Like most lovable losers, the Cardinals have tried various and curious coaches, and have been beset with bad luck. In 1978, the team tried a legendary Oklahoma football coach to pull them out of the morass of losing. But the Cardinals being the Cardinals, their choice wasn't the current Sooners coach, a la the Dallas Cowboys and Barry Switzer. In '78, the St. Louis Cardinals tabbed Bud Wilkinson, who hadn't coached a game in over a decade. When the Cardinals came calling, Wilkinson was so well-known as an ABC college football analyst that most folks didn't even know he had been a coach at all. The experiment lasted less than two seasons.
The Cards have tried Buddy Ryan, who bounded into town and smugly and arrogantly said, "Well, you got yourself a winner." Buddy was mostly a loser in Arizona.
They've tried former star players (Larry Wilson); top assistants elsewhere (Joe Bugel); the unknown (Dave McGinnis); moderately successful NFL head coaches (Ryan and Denny Green); and on and on. Kind of like the Lions.
Only with Don Coryell, in the '70s, were the Cardinals truly a good football team. The days of Jim Hart at QB, Jim Otis and Terry Metcalf in the backfield, and Mel Gray (NOT the former Lion) catching passes. And a stalwart O-line featuring Dan Dierdorf, Bob Young, and Conrad Dobler. The defense had Pro Bowl DB Roger Wehrli and some other good players.
Their window was about four years.
Don Coryell (left) and Bud Wilkinson
Still, the Lions being the Lions, the Cardinals have confounded the Honolulu Blue and Silver over the years. The games in Arizona have been particularly awful. Remember Bobby Ross going for two in 1999? Arizona was also the site of Ross's famous "I don't coach that stuff!" rant.
This year, the Cardinals are a typical 3-5. But they've usually been bad when the Lions have visited them, and the Cardinals have still managed to beat them on most occasions.
But the Lions' streak of futility still isn't as long, or as devoid of success, as the Cardinals'.
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