Monday, October 17, 2005

Lions Don't Have A Weinke Or A Prayer

Kenoy Kennedy, bless his heart, thought he was doing a good thing. He thought he was going to fire up his team with the monster hit, and the fact that it knocked the Carolina Panthers quarterback out of the game, in the most crucial of times, was just icing on the cake, according to Kenoy.

But Kenoy Kennedy is only in his first year as a Lion. He has no clue what the thought process, nor the execution process is around here. Well, Kenoy, here it is: as soon as you knocked Jake Delhomme out of the game yesterday, along with his nine fourth quarter comebacks (courtesy Fox Sports), leaving the reins of the Panthers to scrub Chris Weinke, most of us who know about the Lions and their ways knew our team’s goose was cooked.

You see, that’s how the Lions typically lose ballgames: by having cold, mediocre quarterbacks come off the bench and leading the charge with no timeouts left, when only a touchdown will do the trick. They also lose them by having their own warm QB’s lead the charge and fail at the last moment (read: Tampa Bay). In other words, the Lions are very good at coming up just short in those kinds of ballgames, but also unfortunately very good at losing those types of games when they were the ones coming from ahead.

I can't watch either, Damien Woody

Only with the Lions can feelings of dread be evoked by having an opponent’s starting QB knocked out of the game during the final drive, with that team still almost 80 yards away from paydirt. Only with the Lions can you pretty much figure that that situation has "gut-wrenching defeat" written all over it. With other teams, you pump your fist when a guy like Chris Weinke comes off the bench needing a TD with no timeouts left and three minutes and 80 yards to go for victory. With the Lions, you pound your fist and tell Kenoy Kennedy, "NO! NO! You fool!"

Until the end, I thought the theme of my analysis was going to be The Two Jakes: the one who threw two TD passes to his own receivers, and the one who threw two to the Lions’ defenders. There were four touchdowns in the game until Weinke entered, and Jake Delhomme threw all four of them, when you think about it.
The Lions, though, are still atop their division at 2-3, tied with the Bears, who were the latest team to lay a thumping on the Vikings, which is okay by me because the Minnesota Vikings are my most hated team in all of professional sports. The constant heartbreak at their hands in the 1970’s turned me into a Purple People Hater.

Regardless, the Lions are still a first place team, and the fact that this is true and not a sick joke is an indictment of the NFC North. You don’t think the league is keeping a wary eye on the North, praying a 7-9 or 8-8 record doesn’t win the thing?

The Lions lost mainly because their offense was once again putrid (it only generated two Jason Hanson field goals) and they couldn’t punch it in after Marcus Pollard’s 86 yard reception to the Carolina five yard line. They kicked a field goal, and instead of 24-14 late, it was 20-14. And as long as the Panthers were only one score away from a win, the Lions fan’s heart went tickety-tickety.

Joey Harrington looked lost again, and his protection was awful again. And there were a couple more of those "players get in Joey’s face" confrontations again -- with center Dominic Raiola, and receiver Kevin Johnson. It was awfully evident thru the TV cameras that neither player was complimenting Joey on his hair. Or anything else for that matter.

The Carolina Panthers handed the Lions another "tough" loss Sunday. Or rather, the Lions handed an opponent another come from behind win. Either way is applicable. What else do you expect from a game where the other team’s quarterback threw two TD passes -- to both teams?

And add Chris Weinke to the long list of scrubs who have killed the Lions. Except it’s no longer a list; it’s a freaking card catalog.

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