Tuesday's Feature: The Straightaway

(every Tuesday, Out of Bounds features "The Straightaway," NASCAR commentary from Brazil-based Siddy Hall; this may be Siddy's last update till August, however, due to his impending marriage and honeymoon. Congrats, Siddy!)

THE STRAIGHTAWAY

by Siddy Hall

DAVID STREMME, WE FEEL YOUR PAIN

Daytona has provided NASCAR fans with the two finest races of the 2007 season. The recent summer version was the formula for a perfect race:

Big-Time, Big-Name Drama, as teammates Tony Stewart and Denny Hamlin took each other out while running up front followed by The Blame Game. Stewart got into a similar skirmish with Kurt Busch at the season opener while battling for the lead. That’s two reasons why Stewart is winless this year.

Seven cautions resulting from wrecks or spins, yet the drivers’ amazing skill and courage were on full display as a messy “Big One” was somehow avoided.

An unexpected race winner, Jamie McMurray, came from the rear to provide the major upset for Roush Racing and a rare 2007 victory for Ford.

An absence of wrecks in the final laps allowed for the exhilarating eight lap shootout that included the photo-finish ending between McMurray and Kyle Busch.

The race has provided fans with a big shot of adrenaline. Message boards are filled with opinions concerning Tony Stewart’s outburst against Denny Hamlin (consensus: Tony’s a jerk) along with Kyle Busch’s remarks about his soon-to-be future teammates at Hendrick not providing him draft-help, particularly Jeff Gordon (consensus: Kyle and Tony should be forced to share the same bathroom and for good measure, Kyle’s brother, Kurt, can use it too).

Can this happy guy be a JERK? Message board folks say YES

Hamlin's car blowin "Smoke" over Stewart's finger-pointing?

And then of course, there was also the great finish. So race fans are still buzzing.

What’s easy to overlook and rarely discussed was the great middle part of the race. Between laps 25-115, or for about 90 laps which made up over one-half of the event, the race was wreck-free. It was straight Green save for a “debris” caution at lap 58. The field got strung out about as much as a restrictor-plate race can be.

Kyle Busch crabbed about lack of support at Hendrick, particularly calling out Jeff Gordon

When the dust had cleared the “breakaway” group held two surprises. Running alongside the Busch Brothers and Jimmie Johnson were J.J. Yeley and David Stremme. For numerous circuits we were allowed to watch the choreography of these cars as they entered and exited the turns. Some were sliding high, others staying low. It was beautiful to watch (Thanks TNT!).

The biggest surprise of course was Stremme. Here’s a guy with two top-10s on his resume in 56 starts (10th at Texas, 8th at Talladega). Not only did he reach the front group but he was showing staying power. This was no fluke. David Stremme was a serious threat to win the race.

Then disaster struck the Coors Light machine. Following a cycle of green flag pit stops, Sterling Marlin got loose and tagged Ricky Rudd lightly, bringing out a Yellow. Despite having fresh tires, Stremme’s team decided to pit while some of the race leaders stayed out. They quickly re-discovered that there’s a risk to gaining that fresh rubber and extra fuel.


Stremme: If it wasn't for bad luck ...

While trying to exit a crowded pit road, Stremme’s departure turned out to be ill-timed. Paul Menard’s machine met Stremme’s – and poof! - the Coor’s team great hopes were dashed. At the time, TV viewers had a long view of pit road. Off in the distance we could see a car turned sideways; something was wrong. A closer view provided a view of Stremme throwing his car in reverse as he returned to his pitbox to fix the damage. Only a Lucky Dog pass helped provide the team with a now meager 22nd place finish.

That in a nutshell is the essence of NASCAR. Things come out of nowhere. It could be Dale Earnhardt running over debris while nearing the finish line at Daytona. It can be a flat tire causing a wreck. It can be a hot dog wrapper stuck to your grill causing the car to overheat. It can be a little tap on pit road.

What made David Stremme’s tough luck hard to watch was that he hasn’t tasted any success at this level. And in this game, if you don’t taste success, if you don’t get lucky, it’s possible that you never will.

Folks, I’ll probably be taking the next month off from this column. I’ve got a marriage and a honeymoon to attend to. The first test of our young marriage will be Honeymoon versus Blog. Right now I’m saying honeymoon, but you never know.

Tuesday's Feature: The Straightaway

(every Tuesday, Out of Bounds features "The Straightaway," NASCAR commentary from Brazil-based Siddy Hall)

THE STRAIGHTAWAY

by Siddy Hall

20 THINGS TO LOVE ABOUT NASCAR

20. FRONT TIRE CHANGERS: Everybody in the pit crew is cool. The Jackman is the King galloping around the car with his mechanical baby. The Gasman and Catch Can look like they arrived from outer space. But nothing is cooler than the pitstop ending and the front tire changer pointing the way back to the track.

Ohhhh.....#$!%! For THIS I'm only #20??

19. THE BLAME GAME: Robby Gordon has put a wrinkle in someone’s machine. Soon, the cameras await an explanation from the participants. Will someone apologize or will there be more future fireworks? Better yet, The Intimidator shrugs after knocking someone out, “Awww, that was just one of them racin’ deals.”

18. BARNEY HALL: Name a big event in the history of NASCAR and the voice of NASCAR radio was probably there. He’s like your favorite uncle entering your home each Sunday afternoon.

The Ernie Harwell of NASCAR -- Barney Hall

17. THE BUMP ‘N RUN: When performed to perfection it’s the prettiest move in racing. When done wrong, a fist-fight can break out. The high-speed tap takes nerves and finesse. See Jeff Gordon on Rusty Wallace at Martinsville or Jeremy Mayfield on Dale Earnhardt at Pocono for examples.

16. FLAG POLES: When camping at the track don’t forget your flagpole. The person with the tallest flagpole is the King Daddy for the weekend. Four stories tall with an American flag, a #3 flag plus a #8 is pretty standard.

15. WARM-UP LAPS: You’ve been waiting a long time for the race to finally arrive. And now they are driving by in slow motion, warming up the tires, all those glorious colors and the deafening noise. There’s nothing like it.

14. SOUTHERN ACCENTS: Hey, what’s wrong with Jimmie Johnson anyways? It’s the way that he talks. That ain’t southern. You gotta have the right drawl. In the dictionary, next to “southern accent” is a picture of Sterling Marlin. Or, make that Sturlin’. I wanna talk like him.

Johnson doesn't got no drawl at all ... at least not like Marlin (above)

13. DIE-CASTS: Put ‘em everywhere, all over your house. Build a massive glass enclosed cabinet that reaches the ceiling, so friends can see them and they don’t collect any dust. And most importantly, don’t let your kids play with them.

"Honey, you can keep the house; this one is MINE"

12. BARRELL ROLLS: O.K. so the Roof Flap was a great invention. Amazingly, those two little pieces of metal keeps the car from flying to the moon. But you must admit, you’ll always watch a good barrel roll. It’s a special bonus when the driver walks away. Here’s a good one with Davey Allison at Pocono.

11. ELI GOLD and ALAN BESTWICK: What!! Eli Gold is broadcasting Trucks? No way. And where did Alan Bestwick go? How did these guys fade from the scene.? It’s not right.

10. TIRE RUB MARKS: It’s been a long afternoon at the short track. Just look at all those beautiful rub marks. The fenders, the doors, the quarter-panels. Just covered in sheet-metal kisses. We need more of this.

9. RE-PAINTED SCHOOL BUSES: Forget your fancy RV. The re-modeled 25 year-old school bus is the way to attend a NASCAR event. Just rip out the seats and add a platform to the roof for watching the race and let the Good Times Roll.

8. DRIVER NAMES: Dick Trickle, Banjo Matthews, Lake Speed, Fireball Roberts, Swirvin’ Irvan, Kasey Kahne, Shorty Rollins, Junior Johnson, Little E, Cale Yarborough, Rusty Wallace, Ricky Rudd, Buck Baker, Speedy Thompson, Coo-Coo Marlin, Elmo Langley, Fonty Flock and Cotton Owens.

Where are all the Fireball Robertses nowadays?

7. NASCAR JUNK: Think of an object. Now place a driver name and number on it. Now go buy it!! Blankets, key chains, teddy bears, beer coolers, mud flaps, baby clothes, panties, guitars, guns, lunch boxes, tools. Turn your home into a NASCAR museum.

Look closely; this ain't no run-of-the-mill, ugly lamp; it's a NASCAR ugly lamp!

6. HOODLESS CARS: Hey, check out the lap traffic. It’s a car with no hood!!! Awesome!! Somebody had problems.

5. THE BUSCH BROTHERS: Sure, go ahead and complain you boo-birds. The coolest guys in NASCAR are right under your nose. It’s the Bratty Busch Brothers!! Trouble-makers are cool! They stir up the action. They’re from Las Vegas!!! They are the Busch Brothers and you’re not!!

BUSSSCCCHH!

4. BRISTOL NIGHT RACE: Thunder Valley, baby!! Those poor critters in the woods probably just hide all night. It sounds like the world will explode. Nope, it’s just the pre-race party. Just wait until the show begins. Don’t forget your earplugs!!

3. GEOFF BODINE DAYTONA TRUCK WRECK: He lived to tell about it!! That’s the beauty of it. It’s why the drivers are our heroes. Don’t remember this wreck? Sure, you do. It’s right here from YouTube.

2. PAINT JOBS: We should all paint our cars this way. Dale Earnhardt’s Wrangler car. Mountain Dew. Tide. Bud. Miller Lite. M & M’s. Cingular. Target. They are all cool. Heck, you could have a Joe’s Root Canal car and even that would be cool.

The Skoal car: "Just a pinch between the axle and fender"

1. DAYTONA: Twice a year and they are both grand. The long awaited season opener, plus the old Firecracker 400, now under the lights. Happy 4th of July!!

(you can e-mail Siddy Hall: cityhall172000 at yahoo.com)

Tuesday's Feature: The Straightaway

(every Tuesday, Out of Bounds features "The Straightaway," NASCAR commentary from Brazil-based Siddy Hall)

THE STRAIGHTAWAY

by Siddy Hall

TOO MANY TEAMS (50), TOO MANY RACES (36), A SHORTAGE OF TRACK DATES AND HOW TO FIX IT

Every week about 50 teams are trying to fill 43 slots. After spending millions of dollars these 15 non top-35 teams have their fortune decided by a two-lap solo dash in non-racing conditions. It’s like a golf tournament field being decided by a “Longest Drive” contest. Anybody considering an entry into the NASCAR game right now probably just slammed a fifth of whiskey. You’d have to be out of your mind. Just ask Bill Davis or Team Red Bull.

Meanwhile the Busch Series continues to flounder along in its mysterious ways. The races are shown on TV and only the teams and their nearest relatives seem to care.

There’s a way to solve this and a host of other problems in NASCAR. I’m about to propose a way to make the Chase more exciting, the races better, the teams happier, and the track owners happier. It’ll be a happy fest after the “Siddy Hall Fix NASCAR Game Plan” is initiated.

STEP 1: Franchise the teams. The days of a “Team Elliott” rising through the ranks from an outback, small-town garage to the pinnacle of NASCAR is long gone. As beautiful of a story that it is – a guy or a group of people building a car in their own garage and taking it to the top – this is folklore from the past that will not repeat itself.

Franchise the teams and let them plan on racing each week. Allow teams to develop a driver without fear of being outside the Top-35 in points. In total, franchise 72 teams. Yup, 72.

STEP 2: Split the 72 teams into two groups of 36. (For now, we’ll call these groups the Gordon group and the Earnhardt group.) Each group races on its own. So you would have two separate standings with 36 cars each.

STEP 3: Shorten the season to 30 races. After 20 races the top-20 from each group forms a new group of 40 cars and the Chase begins similar to the current rules. Voila !! You now have a Chase where every car on the track is competing for the championship. Who’s not happy?

Please notice that even while reducing the race schedule, we are also adding race dates. There are now 50 race dates. Races for everybody! Rockingham step right up, you get two. Kentucky, help yourself!! Iowa, you’re in luck! Ontario, yes Canada, you finally receive the race dates that you deserve. O. Bruton Smith, you get your second Texas race date! Everybody is happy!

See? Boss Hogg, er, O. Bruton is happy!!

Under Siddy's plan, more of THIS will be seen

STEP 4: Base the starting grid for each race on the inverse order of the point standings. The points leader starts in the back. Sure, you could argue that the points leader should start in front, but what’s the fun in that? It’s more interesting to watch these cars battle their way to the front. And the lesser teams get some airtime at the start of the race. Everybody is happy!

OTHER BENEFITS: By reducing the number of cars to 36 (or 40 for the Chase) the short track races will improve. Am I alone in believing that Bristol has suffered since allowing 43 cars in the race? The track is too congested. There’s a breakout of Yellow Fever at these races from all the cautions. Reducing the cars will increase the racing. Plus. NASCAR could actually hold three races at Bristol. One for the Gordon group, one for the Earnhardt group, and then one for the Chase.

Gordon's wife, Ingrid Vandebosch, is on board with the Hall proposal (can't ya tell?)

Earnhardt, Jr.'s sister Kelley, spotted giving her OK of Hall's idea to brother Dale

Currently there are about 50 teams. Assuming that each team would be awarded a franchise, this allows room for 22 more teams. By setting a 2010 deadline, more teams could get organized and get on board. Certainly there would be some current and former drivers that would like a piece of this action.

Under this set-up, fans could enjoy two races each weekend that actually matter. One on Saturday night and one Sunday afternoon.

So long Busch Series!

(you can e-mail Siddy Hall: cityhall172000 at yahoo.com)

Tuesday's Feature: The Straightaway

(every Tuesday, Out of Bounds will feature "The Straightaway," NASCAR commentary from Brazil-based Siddy Hall)

THE STRAIGHTAWAY

by Siddy Hall

JUNIOR + JEFF + JIMMIE = ANYONE BUT HENDRICK

Wow. One week after the announcement that Dale Earnhardt, Jr. was planning on joining the Rick Hendrick Victory Garage, I’m still left shaking my head. It wasn’t supposed to happen this way.

In Daytona during “Speedweek” – when Little E became a Big E, or A, depending on your viewpoint, by dropping his bombshell that he was seeking a controlling interest in DEI – I was pumping my fist like he’d just won a race. I was like, “That’s right Junior! Show ‘em who’s the real Boss!”

But it wasn’t supposed to turn out like this. Because there was only supposed to be two options. Either he obtained DEI – in its entirety, hopefully – or he went to race for Richard Childress in the Black Number 3.

Rick Hendrick!!?? Why not Childress? What the heck happened? RCR has three good race teams and room for a fourth. From afar, it appeared that everything was perfectly in place for Junior to hop in the #3, or the #33, or the number #333 or whatever he liked.

Richard Childress has been oddly quiet and detached about the entire situation. It’s gotta hurt hearing that relationships played a big part in Junior’s decision and that his long successful relationship with Dale, Sr. was outweighed by Rick Hendrick.

Childress has been mum, but must have that "left out" feeling

This is strictly a guess, but I think having Jeff Gordon as a teammate may have played a larger role in Earnhardt’s decision-making than he’s let on. I recall Dale Sr. taking a strong liking to Gordon when the latter was enjoying his early success on the track. Dale treated Gordon more like a son than a rival. He regularly displayed a warmth toward Jeff that you rarely saw from The Intimidator. He never even punted Gordon into a wall.

Gordon (24) and Earnhardt, Jr.: Senior might have liked their new role as teammates

In spite of how “Earnhardt Nation” has fabricated a bitter rivalry between Earnhardt, Jr. and Gordon, it appears that this rivalry existed at least in large part in the imagination of the fans. Gordon has always shown class and respect toward the Earnhardts. And in the small bubble of NASCAR, that’s a bridge toward friendship that Dale, Jr. may be seeking on some level. Shocking as it may seem, he wants to hang out with his own kind and that kind may be none other than Jeff Gordon.

After years of bitterness that Junior fans have displayed towards Gordon’s “Kool-Aid Nation” it’s amusing to watch Earnhardt fans scrambling to justify the impossible contradiction of Little E sharing the same garage as the 24-Car. The most common justification is to invoke a sort of NASCAR version of patriotism. Any “true” Earnhardt fan will continue to raise their can of Bud to Junior regardless of the car owner.

But that is only one half of the equation. The other half is what to do about Jeff Gordon (and Jimmie Johnson). Do you still invoke the middle-finger salute as he drives by? I doubt that they will. Instead they may be forced to create some new arch enemy.

Personally, I never quite bought into the Earnhardt – Gordon rivalry. I’ve always liked both. If I were hard-pressed to choose one then I would go with Gordon. But I’ve happened to like both guys for the same reason. They’ve both displayed a lot of grace under pressure.

I disagree with critics that charge Gordon with being too robotic of a personality. He’s always come across to me as the real deal. A cool, classy dude that handles pressure well. And beneath the smooth exterior lies a thirst for winning that can’t be quenched. Part of his greatness is that he never gets bored with winning.

It's always been about winning for Gordon

Likewise, Junior has handled a ridiculous amount of media glare and pressure with equal skill. It’s utterly amazing how much weight this guy carries on his shoulders. He really is royalty. He was born to carry NASCAR on his shoulders. He makes it easy to forget how tough a job that is.

So it’s actually fitting that the two kings of the sport (with apologies to Richard Petty) – Gordon and Earnhardt, plus the reigning champion, Jimmie Johnson – should become teammates in 2008. It has its own logic that extends beyond contract agreements.

If it’s high school again, the 3-J’s (Junior, Jeff & Jimmie), would be the ones surrounded by the pretty girls in the hallways. The Gibbs drivers would be a slightly lesser rival bunch. And the gang from Chip Ganassi and Felix Sabates would be skipping classes to work on new tattoos.

The Budweiser 25: Jr.'s car # in '08?

This is why in 2008, I say “Anyone but Hendrick’s.” Anyone but the 3-J’s. They’re too much. Individually, they are fine. Collectively, I can’t stand them. They make me feel like I’m cheering for the New York Yankees. They are supposed to win. And that ain’t no fun.

The Hendrick team, circa 1995

A note to Robbie Gordon: In 2008, fix your cross-hairs on those Hendrick cars. Juan Pablo Montoya (below), you’ll be my hero if you do the same. Because if there is anything that I cannot stand, it’s a group of people who are clearly better than the rest. Hendrick Motorsports has won six of the last 12 championships, plus perhaps this year’s. Now they’re adding Dale Earnhardt, Jr. That’s too much. I can’t stand them now.

(you can e-mail Siddy Hall: cityhall172000 at yahoo.com)

Tuesday's Feature: The Straightaway

(every Tuesday, "Out of Bounds" will feature "The Straightaway" -- NASCAR commentary from Brazil-based Siddy Hall)

The Straightaway

by Siddy Hall

BORING SEASON HAS BEGUN

The June Pocono race came and went, which means one thing: Break out the hammock and tie it to your two favorite trees. In the north, it’s summertime. But it’s more than that. It’s also the official start of the Boring Racing Season. It’s the pre-Silly Season nap session. You’ll likely take mucho siestas in your hammock while following the Chase.

Check it out. Starting with last week’s Pocono race, the next 10 races includes two each from Pocono and Michigan, two road courses and Loudon. That’s seven races out of ten.

"Gentlemen, start your alarm clocks!"

So maybe you enjoy road courses. It provides a change of pace. Here’s what else could provide a change of pace: dirt tracks and bullrings. Let’s see some machines rolling around with tire marks on their side. Let’s see some cars with their roofs missing and their engines exposed on a rough day.

What else is there? Daytona, Chicago and the Brickyard. I’m not a fan of the Brickyard. But, hey, with 36 races, why complain about having one in the Shrine of Motorsports. Especially with so many in attendance. But a long drag race leading into a corner with no banking? I need to go hop in my hammock.

The Brickyard: rife with history, devoid of much creativity

The good news is that the tracks serving the fans in the northern U.S. and Canada finally get served. It’s their turn to party. It’s their chance to re-paint their refurbished school bus into a NASCAR party on wheels. Alcohol is the fuel for these Mad Max-like war machines. Their collective motto could be supplied by the singer, Andrew W.K.’s “Party ‘Til You Puke.” The mayhem is best filmed and uploaded to YouTube.

Because of pre-race hijinks with themes like THIS....

....buses like these are sometimes best viewed (and smelled) from a distance

Speaking of boring tracks, guess where Race # 26 will be held? California. Just two weeks after the second Michigan event. California will host the final race to determine who makes the Chase. Then two weeks after California, another dose of Loudon. It’ll be mid-September by then, folks. Time to put the hammock away and send the kids to school.

To recap: 14 races. One-half (seven) will be at either Pocono, Michigan, Loudon, or California. Plus two road courses. Yee-haw.

MEMORIES OF MICHIGAN: My home track was Michigan. I’ve attended races at three tracks: Michigan, Atlanta, and Daytona. What was great about Michigan was camping out for days in advance in a field across the service drive that runs next to MIS. About eight families would park their RVs on Wednesday, forming a large courtyard for all of us to enjoy. The rest of us would pitch tents, trying to stay away from the noise of the generators.

Neighbors would wander over and hang out, especially at night when the live music would begin. Songs about Dale Earnhardt. Arguments over drivers. In the daytime when walking around you spotted your camp by the #3 and #9 flags hanging high on a flagpole.

You can’t do that anymore. Too much success for NASCAR put a squeeze on space. Now the cars are crammed together like a housing project. Is it worth the trouble to battle traffic for this? I guess, but it just ain’t the same.

One of the unique things about NASCAR is its sounds. The one that stands out for me was walking to the track from our campsite at Michigan as qualifying was being conducted. To hear the sound of a single car turning into Turn #4 from outside the track left me spellbound. What on God’s earth could create that kind of noise?

FACTOIDS: Name the only two drivers in the top-35 in points who have failed to land a top-10 finish this year.

Name the only driver who would currently qualify for the Chase without a top-5 finish this year.

Answers: Tony Raines and Sterling Marlin have no Top-10’s. Clint Bowyer has no Top-5 but would make the chase.

HARD TO BELIEVE: After Race 2 from California, David Ragan (below) was ahead of Jeff Gordon in money winnings for the year.

(you can e-mail Siddy Hall: cityhall172000 at yahoo.com)

Tuesday's Feature: The Straightaway

(every Tuesday, "Out of Bounds" will feature "The Straightaway", NASCAR commentary from Brazil-based Siddy Hall)

THE STRAIGHTAWAY

by Siddy Hall

TRUEX 1st TIME WIN THE FLIPSIDE OF MEARS

Dover Downs is a great racetrack. It’s possibly my favorite on the circuit. Dover was the scene of one of my favorite off-track skirmishes. It involved Derrike Cope, Ernie Irvan and Irvan’s crew chief, Larry McReynolds, back in the mid-1990s.

Ernie Irvan was the quickest car that day and somewhere in the first 100 laps he was about to put Cope a lap down. When Cope failed to show the ‘proper’ courtesy to the race leader within say, 0.005 seconds, Ernie lacked the proper patience and tapped Cope, sending both cars reeling. Tow trucks were required and Irvan’s seemingly bright day was finished.

As the cameras followed Cope through the garage area, suddenly Larry McReynolds blasted through, blabbering away, wanting a piece of Cope. How dare a jalopy like Cope’s not get out of the race leader’s way!! Roll out the red carpet, Derrike. It’s Ernie Irvan!! The bewildered Cope failed to repond with what I believed was proper vengeance. To this day I’m still mad that Derrike didn’t deck McReynolds on the spot.

NASCAR/WWF, circa 1997: McReynolds (right) played Bobby "The Brain" Heenan against Cope (left), on behalf of Irvan (below)

Yesterday’s Dover race lacked these types of fireworks. Instead we witnessed single car domination. Martin Truex, Jr., your first win was a beauty. It was the day you were King with no ifs, ands, or buts. It was the flipside of last week’s first time race winner, Casey Mears.

Mears victory was more like a rabbit trick. We watched the cars go around for over four hours and suddenly the race winner was not a stallion but a llama. But Mears’s win was fun and surprising, and of course, a win is a win. In Truex’s case, the only question was whether his equipment had a slight fade in it. Many times the best car all day becomes an average car at the end. Truex somehow grew stronger.

The final re-start began with 40 laps remaining. It took 20 laps before the Bass Pro Shops machine was lapping respectable cars. By the end of the event he had opened up a seven second lead. There was no good fortune or strategy required here. This was a good ole fashioned serious butt-kicking.

THAT ZEN MOMENT: The funny thing about auto racing is that it can take some time to realize that you are witnessing greatness. This is the major difference between driving hard, NASCAR-style, and driving hard, NBA-style.

Recently, in the NBA playoffs, LeBron James scored 29 of his team’s final 30 points in leading his team to a double-overtime win. The domination was obvious and it registered quickly. The greatness that Martin Truex and his team displayed at Dover took longer to understand. It was one of those moments of Zen.

The Autism Speaks 400 was a clean race. Not until Tony Stewart and Kurt Busch battled on lap 271 was there any real drama. The cars ran a crisp pace in a good, clean race. The kind of good, clean racing that over two hours can lead to a trance-like state for the viewer. Throw in a little nap in the middle and by lap 250 you may be in a state of meditative boredom. Until as Jim Morrison once said, “You break on through to the other side.”

Stewart: As usual, he provided some drama

That’s how it was for me. For 250 laps I was watching … then napping … watching … then napping. Finally, I was about to give up. I was going to get off my couch and go do something useful, when that Moment of Zen arrived. “The Attainment of Awakening.”

"Ohmmmm..."

I finally realized, “Hey, this is actually a pretty good race. Martin Truex, Jr. is kicking ass!!” And the endless circles being driven suddenly made a whole lot of sense.

MY CRAZY IDEA: Has any track builder ever made a track in the shape of a figure-8? I imagine this configuration with no intersection. One end of the track would be elevated 20 feet higher than the opposite end. So, there would be an uphill and a downhill slope to the track. I think it would be cool. Right turns and left turns. I believe that my new track, the Siddy Hall International Speedway, should receive two races.

BASS PRO SHOPS: One reason why I’m happy for Team Truex is that Bass Pro Shops is one of my favorite car sponsors. And I don’t even fish. I just enjoy seeing that Bass on the hood of the One-car. And why can’t I fish? I’ve never liked worms. They’re gross.

How can you NOT like a race car that features a BASS?

BRAZIL TV: Watching the race from Sao Paulo, Brazil has its own unique challenges. The race is broadcast in Portuguese. The announcers seem like they are really into the action. However, I don’t know what they are saying. They don’t have their own pit and garage reporters. While the announcers interpret what’s being said, I’m left wondering.

For instance after the Kurt Busch – Tony Stewart melee, Fox interviewed Busch. I noticed that Kurt seemed to talk for quite a while. I can only imagine…

Fox: Kurt, what happened out there?
Busch: Well, we had a good car today. The Miller Lite Dodge wasn’t quite as good as Ryan’s but we felt like we had a top-Ten car until that #@!^%&* 20-car made his &^$%^^% car too wide and had to act like his %$@* pumpkin-mobile is the %^^$$$# King %^&% of the track. Payback is a &&(*%&@!^&&*%$ fatboy.

Am I right?

CONGRATULATIONS DEI: So Junior’s leaving and you can stick a fork in DEI, right? That’s what I’ve been saying. After recent talk about how DEI will continue on and be strong, I gotta admit that I was rolling my eyes and smirking while saying, “Let me show this amazing swamp property that I’ve got for sale. You’ll love it.” Besides those teams that face the pressure of trying to make races each week, no organization is under more pressure than DEI. Great job, Teresa, Max and everybody from Team Truex.

Teresa Earnhardt: Rumors of DEI's death are greatly exaggerated

(you can e-mail Siddy Hall: cityhall172000 at yahoo.com)

*****************************************

BILL JR STORY: Here's a link to an outstanding story on Bill France, Jr. The story appeared in the New Yorker in 2003.

Tuesday's Feature Returns: The Straightaway

(Siddy Hall, NASCAR contributor to "Out of Bounds", recently moved to Brazil. Here is his first offering since calling Sao Paulo home)

The Straightaway





by Siddy Hall


SEARCHING FOR JUNIOR IN BRAZIL

Greetings from São Paulo, Brazil, my new home of 12 days. Sao Paulo is a big city, among the five largest in the world. It’s approaching winter here, but the weather is still comfortable although cool at night. Traffic in a metropolitan area of over 15,000,000 is often a major grind. It’s like trying to run 43 cars at the Hickory bullring.

Although the top-selling car in Brazil is Volkswagen, Chevy and Ford are well-represented, also. Please forget your truck or SUV while here. It’s all small to mid-size sedans. Peugeot, Mercedes and Fiats are also common in Sao Paulo.

This is F1 country. The Land of Senna. The road leading to the largest airport is named after the late, great Ayrton Senna. He has a tunnel named for him, too. The winner of 41 races and 65 poles in 162 Formula 1 starts is a racing legend. He was a two-time winner of the Sao Paulo Grand Prix.





You know you're big when they name tunnels after you: Ayrton Senna



In NASCAR’s quest to Rule the Racing World it has identified six countries, or markets that it likes most: Canada, Mexico, Japan, Germany, the U.K., and Brazil. These countries each have large markets with a racing heritage and an affinity for the U.S.

So where is NASCAR in Brazil? And how about Dale Earnhardt, Jr. and Juan Pablo Montoya? While navigating Sao Paulo and speaking with friends I tried to discover whether NASCAR had penetrated the minds of Brazilians.

First, I checked out the magazine racks at newsstands in downtown Sao Paulo. Things look a lot like in the U.S. Numerous magazines are available for the “wrencher.” People who like to re-build cars or build street-legal hot rods have many magazine choices. As for auto racing, it’s pretty much all Formula 1.





Not surprisingly, Brazilians know who Montoya (right) is far more than Earnhardt, Jr.


A couple of magazines give about four pages to NASCAR, placing it on equal footing with other styles of local racing. NASCAR has developed some local racing series such as Stock V-8. They look like Nextel cars except they’ve been shrunken. Overall, from magazines to posters to T-shirts, NASCAR was tough to find.

I decided to ask my future father-in-law, a major sports fan, if he knew who Dale Earnhardt, Jr is. I was met with a blank stare. After I explained that some people think of Dale as the American Racing God, version 2.0, he replied, “I don’t know the pilots. Besides they just drive in circles. It’s not emotional.” He added, “They need Brazilian drivers for the people of Brazil to care.”

I then asked if he knew Juan Pablo Montoya. Without hesitating he said, “Yes, I know him.” After a smirk he added, “He had his moment a while ago.”

Want to know how to cool off a boisterous conversation among a group of Brazilian woman? Ask them if they know Junior. A woman named Fazio silently considered my question and responded, “Is he supposed to be a famous actor or something?” I figured, well, she’s a woman who wouldn’t know this stuff. Just a long-shot question. But then I followed up with Montoya. “Yes, I know who he is. He races cars.”

OK. 2-0, Juan over Junior in the early going.

Finally, it’s me and the boys, drinking cervejas at an outdoor bar. Time to get some answers. Among our group is Andre, a guy who knows a thing or two about the NBA. Does he know who Junior is? I’m met with silence, bafflement. After my explanation he states, “I don’t know the pilots.” But he knows Montoya, 3-0.



NASCAR in miniature? No, it's a Brazilian stock car


Another gentleman describes how he visited New York and suddenly all of these colorful, noisy stock cars drove slowly through the shutdown streets. It was amazing. NASCAR.

Another guy, Gabes, wearing a Boston Celtic sweatshirt, joins us. I gotta ask about Junior. He stares at me for a while then very slowly says, “Doesn’t he… drive… a car… for something?” Hey, we’re getting somewhere, Brian France. I explain that Earnhardt is the most famous driver in NASCAR. Gabes replies, “Yeah, the most famous driver after Tom Cruise in ‘Days of Thunder.’” Everybody laughed.

One recurring theme about Juan Pablo Montoya: He’s not loved. Perhaps because he’s Columbian and a former rival to Brazilians in Formula 1, praise was short for Juan. Knowledge of his move to NASCAR generates only mild interest.

Great News for NASCAR, however. It’s easier to see a NASCAR truck race on TV than an NBA playoff game. Brazil has its own SPEED channel outlet and they show the stuff. This channel is not in every home, but it’s available as part of a subscription package. Strangely, to these American eyes, the promos don’t focus on Jeff Gordon or Junior at all. Only one guy is being pushed. Yup, Juan Pablo Montoya, Mr. 23rd in points.

The NBA playoffs? It’s shown only if they run out of soccer games. There’s four channels of futbol, non-stop.

Do you suppose Jeff & Tony & Jimmy & Dale could lace up the sneakers for a game of soccer? It could be Hendricks & Gibbs & Ginn against Fenway Roush & Michael Waltrip Racing & Team Red Bull & Haas. Or better yet, how about a version of soccer/demolition derby being played on a soccer field. The cars could trade paint while trying to boot an oversized soccer ball with the nose of their cars. Michael Waltrip’s car could be a goalie and just sit there and block shots. Brazil might watch that.

(you can e-mail Siddy Hall: cityhall172000 at yahoo.com)

Tuesday's Feature: The Straightaway

(every Tuesday, "Out of Bounds" will feature "The Straightaway," NASCAR commentary from longtime racing observer Siddy Hall)


THE STRAIGHTAWAY

by Siddy Hall


NASCAR’S GHOST RIDERS: THE 10 QUIETEST CARS OF 2007

When viewing NASCAR events there are two types of cars that receive the most attention: the race leaders and the wrecking machines.

But what about the rest of the cars? Where are these guys week in and week out? Many of these cars are merely a rumor. To analyze this, I’ve compiled a list of the 10 least noticeable cars this year.

No quacks allowed!! Each car must have raced at least seven of the nine races. This eliminates most of the Toyotas. So Jeremy Mayfield, Brian Vickers, and A.J. Almindinger are out. Ward Burton, Kevin Lepage, Paul Menard and Kenny Wallace are also among the drivers that are not eligible for this list.

Finally, imagine having to write about a boring race car. That’s not easy. Every driver has a website, so I’m supplying some of the spin that those sites are serving up for their driver.
By the way, many of these cars have one thing in common: some were near the front of that parade line that traveled around Talladega for about twenty laps. Single-file racing at ‘Dega? Now that’s boring, man.

1. KYLE PETTY (T-32nd, 9 starts, 0 Top-10): Amazingly, it’s been ten years since Kyle scored a Top-Five. Equally amazing has been his team’s ability to survive. Just for fun, ask a friend if he/she can name Kyle’s primary sponsor. Just don’t ask me because I don’t know.





Petty promises a young fan a Top-43 finish


Petty’s website spin: “Petty Enterprises showed again that they have a very strong restrictor plate program. The duo of Kyle Petty and Bobby Labonte collected two top 20 finishes, but Petty was one of the strongest cars all afternoon … had a strong car throughout the day. The Billy Wilburn-led crew started the day 25th and waited to the end to show their cards. Petty was in the lead draft all day, but was cautious in case of the ‘big one.’”

2. REED SORENSON (29th, 9 starts, 1 Top-10): Sorenson finished 24th in points during his rookie year in 2006. Over the final 29 races, he was never higher than 20th or lower than 25th in the overall standings. Man, that’s boring. But in a good way. Late at Talladega, when Gordon, Johnson and Earnhardt, Jr. broke out of the single-file line to form a new freight train, it was Sorenson who jumped in front of this pack and broke their momentum.






Sorenson prepares for life after racing


Sorenson’s website spin: – “Reed Sorenson drove a cautious race at Talladega Superspeedway, running near the rear of the field for much of the event to hopefully avoid the huge wrecks that are typical for restrictor-plate races.”

3. TONY RAINES (22nd, 9 starts, 0 Top-10): The Dallas Cowboy QB tandem of Troy Aikman and Roger Staubach are part owners of a boring race car. But again, in a good way. No wrecks. They could spice things up by subbing Tony Romo for Tony Raines. This is my favorite website spin from this list. The writer is madder than a wet hen.
Raines’ website spin: – “No Drafting Help Equals 22nd-Place Finish for Raines”. “On Lap 181, Raines was in ninth place. On Lap 182, Raines was in 20th-place. Ladies and Gentlemen, meet “The Draft.” After being in the top-10 for nearly 20 laps, Raines was going backward as his competitors slipstreamed past him.”


4. JOE NEMECHEK (28th, 8 starts, 1 Top-10): Nemechek’s season was defined early on by his ability to make races on his qualifying speed. Front Row Joe went 4-for-5 and did an excellent job of making his team viable. However, now we are entering Race number ten and it’s time to admit that Joe has been rather dull. Nemechek’s website spin: – Joe has his own myspace page. It was last updated on March 10th, so there is no spin. Joe humors readers by actually answering the myspace part about sexual orientation! Joe’s “Straight”, everyone! Wooo-hoooo!!

5. ELLIOTT SADLER (15th, 9 starts, 1 Top-10): How is Sadler only three spots out of the Chase? Wouldn’t it be funny if he won this year’s championship? The guy hasn’t been seen all year and he’s in the hunt.
Sadler’s website spin: – “Kasey Kahne and Elliott Sadler posted top-15 finishes Sunday in the Aaron’s 499 at Talladega Superspeedway. Both drivers led laps on the 2.66-mile oval and demonstrated on several occasions their Dodge Chargers had the muscle to move to the front with relative ease. A late-race caution extended the race beyond the scheduled 188 laps and probably cost the pair a chance at top-10 finishes.”



Misery loves company: Sadler and Jarrett


6. JOHNNY SAUTER (T-32nd, 8 starts, 1 Top-10): Sauter is not only battling Kyle Petty for 32nd in points, he is also waging a silent war to top this list. However, a recent top-ten at Phoenix plus a wreck at Talladega drops Johnny to sixth. Sauter and teammate Jeff Green have once swapped sponsors on their hoods. Did you notice?




Talladega wreck knocked Johnny Sauter's earwax askew



Sauter’s website spin: – “Johnny Sauter and Team Yellow Racing saw a strong performance go awry when the Aaron's 499 went into "overtime" with a green-white-checkered finish. Sauter was running in the 18th position when the field took the final green flag at lap 190, but never made it back around.”

7. DALE JARRETT (37th, 9 starts, 0 Top-10): This year Dale Jarrett is known for three things. He drives for Toyota. He’s got good TV ads. He’s out of provisionals. So we may not be seeing much more of Dale this year. Oh wait, we haven’t seen him all year. Except during commercials.
Jarrett’s website spin: – “The struggles for Team UPS continued on race day in Talladega as Dale Jarrett reported an engine problem on the first lap of the Aaron's 499. Thirty-eight laps later the day was over for Jarrett and the UPS Team as the result of an engine failure. 'It is a bad end to a bad weekend,' Jarrett said briefly after getting out of the race car. 'It's disappointing, frustrating for me and the team.'"

8. RICKY RUDD (34th, 9 starts, 0 Top-10): I’m certain that Rudd belongs on this list because I love Snickers bars. In fact, my favorite weak-ass line to a girl in a bar is, “You look like a Snickers bar to me. I just wanna tear the wrapper right off you.” It’s mine. It’s a Siddy Hall original. Go ahead and use it.





DO NOT DISTURB: He's in a zone


Rudd’s website spin: – “Late Wreck Spoils Strong Run For Rudd.” “As fate would have it Rudd and his crew would have to put their dreams of victory away for another week.”

9. ROBBY GORDON (27th, 9 starts, 0 Top-10): The biggest upset is including Robby Gordon on this list. Robby’s been pretty quiet. Not wrecking a lot and not shooting his mouth. What’s up with him? Robby, go back to being a trouble-maker. Boring is bad.
Gordon’s website spin: – “Robby Gordon and the No. 7 team traveled to Alabama this weekend for the running of the Aaron’s 499 at the Talladega Superspeedway. After leading final practice on Friday afternoon, the team was eager for another solid finish to continue this season’s momentum. As luck would have it, a blown engine would ruin the No. 7 team’s chances for a solid finish for the season debut of the Menards/Mapei paint scheme and relegate them to a 41st place finish."


Robby taunts Mikey: "I'll race you- my feet against your slow wheels!"



10. J.J. Yeley (21st, 9 starts, 0 Top-10): What saves Yeley is that Interstate Battery paint job. You can’t miss that. One of my favorite moments of the season was listening to an MRN radio broadcast when Yeley came in for a green-flag stop. One of the announcers, I think it was Winston Kelley, yelled, “JAAAY JAAAY YAAAYLEE.” By the time he got his name out Yeley was long gone. I love MRN, they do a great job. Yeley’s website spin: – “At times Yeley would charge to the front, but in typical Talladega fashion, he would get shuffled to the rear of the field on the very next lap.”




Yeley: Money for nothin' and the chicks for free

(you can e-mail Siddy Hall: cityhall172000 at yahoo.com)