Thursday's Things

(every Thursday -- most of them, anyway -- at OOB I rant in list fashion. Last week it was Things In Sports I'll Never Understand)

Things Overheard At The Shaun Rogers Press Conference When He Was Introduced As A Cleveland Brown

1. "You guys got a Sonic Burger here?"

2. "How about Fuddrucker's?"

3. "Dunkin' Donuts or Tim Hortons?"

4. "So, the target weight is a minimum, right?"

5. "I'll answer questions, but first I need to be put on pure oxygen for 15 minutes"

6. "OH! I thought you said I was playing for Cleveland BROWNIES"

7. "Well, at least here, I won't look as big standing next to the head coach!"

8. "When's lunch?"

9. "I'm here today because Detroit wasn't big enough for me and coach Marinelli -- literally"

10. "Please don't show the video of me returning that pick for a TD against the Broncos. I get winded just looking at it"

11. "I'm just here to give 50% and help the team have a great first half of the season"

12. "I pretend the quarterback is a Slim Jim"

13. "I'm not so big once you get to know me and doctor the media guide"