Thursday's Things

(every Thursday at OOB I rant in list fashion. Last week it was Things That Have to Happen for the Lions to Make the Playoffs)

Things That Rich Rodriguez Should Know About U-M Football

1. The Big House isn't a state penitentiary -- unless the University of Florida cames to visit.

2. That's the word "hail" in the fight song lyrics -- not "hell" with a West Virginia twang.

3. The excuses for losing will always include a confused defense, an erratic offense, and officiating -- not necessarily in that order.

4. No, even the natives don't know what the heck that is on the football helmets.

5. Please win the opener, because Bo Schembechler's grave is only now starting to come to a rest after the Appalachian State loss last September.

6. Les WHO?

7. Greg WHO? (insert either Schiano or Eno here)

8. There ARE similarities between Michigan and West Virginia. In WV, you have dark, cold, deep, spooky mines. In Michigan, you have the walk from Joe Louis Arena to your car.

9. Please have patience inserting your new offense. At U-M, the only "spread" they know is the pre-game tailgate.

10. Don't worry so much about beating Ohio State, so long as you run a clean, ethical program. And while you're at it, don't be signing any mortgage in Ann Arbor longer than five years.

11. I'd rethink that whole "Coach Rod" nickname if I were you; at least wait until the Lions coach gets the ziggy.

12. Double-check to see whether Tom Brady has any weeks of eligibility left. You never know.