Thursday's Things

(when the mood strikes, on Thursdays at OOB I rant in list fashion)

Things Seen On Matt Millen's "To Do" List As Training Camp Opens

1. Get all weekend passes for Pennsylvania approved by Mr. Ford

2. Schedule photo opps, smiling with coach Marinelli while watching practice; make sure to wear shorts and have beard scruffy

3. Work on compiling that list of "58 coaches" Steve Mariucci said I've fired

4. After drafting guys named Kevin Jones, Charles Rogers, Mike Williams, and Calvin Johnson -- learn how to spell and pronounce Gosder Cherilus.

5. See if I can do that Army thing with Caleb Campbell

6. Convince myself that all those signs say "HIRE Millen!"

7. Continue to polish my TV analyst audition tape

8. Now that Shaun Rogers is gone and so is his weight distraction, look into Slim-Fast for myself

9. Double check safety deposit box weekly that contains "those photos" of Mr. Ford

10. Remind myself of my over-seventy percent success rate at making the rest of the NFL feel good about itself on a weekly basis, for my benevolent self-esteem